My heart hurts.

I am a young guy (24 years old, almost 25) and I am trying to get a move on with my life. I have a fairly decent job, I’m a homeowner and I own my car. I am in good financial shape and overall my life is not bad (at least on the outside).

I’m dying inside. I am lonely. My ex-girlfriend and I broke up almost a year ago and it broke my heart. It was a mutual thing, tried to work through some bumps in our relationship but it wasn’t working out. We ended it on good terms. We were together for 7 years. I thought she was my soul mate.

Here I am a year later, so depressed and sad. I do my basic day to day things (take care of my house, laundry, take care of my dog, talk to family members and a few close friends, go to work) and every so often go out for some drinks with co-workers and friends. I try and get out there, get noticed and just feel things out. I am not used to this "single" thing so I am not the most open person. Unless I really feel comfortable (or have some beers in me) I won’t go up to a girl unless I know there is interest.

I thought there was some interest from a girl at work (I posted a thread about this) but I’m not really sure. She’s a little younger (about 5 years) and she works for me. She goes away to college so this doesn’t seem to have any serious relationship potential.

Either way, I have come to the realization tonight that I am depressed. I always have bags under my eyes, I never want to get out of bed, I usually just want to be alone and I miss that companionship you get from a relationship. I’m sure there are others out there that have gone through this and I’m just curious how to get out of this. I’ve already got the "just get out there, stop talking to the ex" bit and for the most part I don’t talk to my ex all that much. We were best friends prior to being boyfriend/girlfriend so it’s not that easy.

I am sorry for such a long post but I am at a loss here. I feel like i’m wearing my body away and I do not feel healthy (I’ve lost about 20 lbs over the last 4 months) … I am 6’1" and I went from about 205 to 185.

185 at 6’1 isn’t really bad, but that’s besides the point.

You told me in your last thread that you aren’t trying to put yourself out there. Like I said before, you can’t just go home or go to work and expect your next love interest to fall in your lap. Life is not that easy and you need to get that through your head.

Do you have any friends? If not, that’s the first thing you need to work on. If you do have friends you need to get out of your house some nights.

185 at 6’1 isn’t really bad, but that’s besides the point.

You told me in your last thread that you aren’t trying to put yourself out there. Like I said before, you can’t just go home or go to work and expect your next love interest to fall in your lap. Life is not that easy and you need to get that through your head.

Do you have any friends? If not, that’s the first thing you need to work on. If you do have friends you need to get out of your house some nights.

I really appreciate you always responding to my posts.

I have been going out a bit more lately. I guess I feel like I should be going out all the time. I’d say at least 1-2 nights a week I go get dinner/drinks with co-workers and friends. I spend alot of time with my family (parents, grandparents, sisters, nieces, nephews, etc). I am very close with my family and like to spend as much time with them as possible.

I understand that love isn’t going to fall in my lap. I guess I just don’t know "how to meet that next special person" because I am too closed in or those I do find myself a bit interested in (work) are just a bit to far fetched.

I really appreciate you always responding to my posts.

I have been going out a bit more lately. I guess I feel like I should be going out all the time. I’d say at least 1-2 nights a week I go get dinner/drinks with co-workers and friends. I spend alot of time with my family (parents, grandparents, sisters, nieces, nephews, etc). I am very close with my family and like to spend as much time with them as possible.

I understand that love isn’t going to fall in my lap. I guess I just don’t know "how to meet that next special person" because I am too closed in or those I do find myself a bit interested in (work) are just a bit to far fetched.

Well that’s good. Hell sometimes I’m lucky if I get out one night a week, then again when I was single I probably went out a little more. But anywho, I think it’s also great that you are family-oriented, says a lot about your character, but unfortunately I’m sure you know hanging with them also doesn’t get you women.

When you go out for drinks to socialize withyour friends do you go to nearby bars/restuarants? Do you tend to just stay put right in your own little group of friends? Branch out a little. Either try to strike up a conversation with a girl in the bar you find attractive or suggest a better bar

Have any hobbies?

Well that’s good. Hell sometimes I’m lucky if I get out one night a week, then again when I was single I probably went out a little more. But anywho, I think it’s also great that you are family-oriented, says a lot about your character, but unfortunately I’m sure you know hanging with them also doesn’t get you women.

When you go out for drinks to socialize withyour friends do you go to nearby bars/restuarants? Do you tend to just stay put right in your own little group of friends? Branch out a little. Either try to strike up a conversation with a girl in the bar you find attractive or suggest a better bar

Have any hobbies?

Thanks for the suggestions. I am heavily into sports (playing them, watching them, etc). Honestly, that’s one of the qualities this girl at my work has. She is very into sports (watching, playing, etc) and I love that about her. I am an active person (or try to be). I try to take care of myself, eat healthy, etc. Most of the time it works but sometimes it doesn’t.

What sports do you like to play? Do you ever actually play them?

My bf goes to the gym and plays random guys in racquetball. He also found an adult baseball league and we did an adult kickball league. Al very fun and great ways to meet people.
Get into some co-ed sports..weather it be softball or frisbee it’s a pretty good way to meet some people. Some coed teams get pretty serious but most of them just turnout to be big drunkfests.
Try to focus on why you broke up whenever you get depressed rather than all of the good times. I know it’s harder than it sounds but if you really focus on it, you keep from getting as down. Seven years is a long time to be with someone so I think it’s natural to still get down about. Keep your head up and you’ll be in my thoughts!

Get into some co-ed sports..weather it be softball or frisbee it’s a pretty good way to meet some people. Some coed teams get pretty serious but most of them just turnout to be big drunkfests.
Try to focus on why you broke up whenever you get depressed rather than all of the good times. I know it’s harder than it sounds but if you really focus on it, you keep from getting as down. Seven years is a long time to be with someone so I think it’s natural to still get down about. Keep your head up and you’ll be in my thoughts!

Thanks for the positive response. I play pretty much any and all sports from basketball, softball, football and tennis. It’s hard to find enough people to play all of them but most of the sports I play end up being with a bunch of guys. That’s great if you’re just looking to hang out but not for anything more than that.

It’s depressing because I was a big part of why we broke up. Our relationship wasn’t doing to well and I made a poor decision with another girl (I did not sleep with her). It was a weak point in our relationship and I made a very bad decision. The saying, "You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone" couldn’t be more on point in my situation. I took my girlfriend and our relationship for granted. I assumed it would always be there and I didn’t have to try anymore and this is what gets me down.

I’ve explored around and checked the online dating sites, I look around when going out to eat and going to different places with friends and I just try and picture myself with any of the girls that I see. I find myself constantly comparing them to my ex and it never works out.

Thanks for all the helpful responses.

Thanks for the positive response. I play pretty much any and all sports from basketball, softball, football and tennis. It’s hard to find enough people to play all of them but most of the sports I play end up being with a bunch of guys. That’s great if you’re just looking to hang out but not for anything more than that.

It’s depressing because I was a big part of why we broke up. Our relationship wasn’t doing to well and I made a poor decision with another girl (I did not sleep with her). It was a weak point in our relationship and I made a very bad decision. The saying, "You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone" couldn’t be more on point in my situation. I took my girlfriend and our relationship for granted. I assumed it would always be there and I didn’t have to try anymore and this is what gets me down.

I’ve explored around and checked the online dating sites, I look around when going out to eat and going to different places with friends and I just try and picture myself with any of the girls that I see. I find myself constantly comparing them to my ex and it never works out.

Thanks for all the helpful responses.

hey man what happened in the past doesnt matter anymore dont need to dwell on it. all u can do is learn from it and advance. but seriously dont push yourself into NEEDING a relationship. i was in youre position at one point in my life and i realized that theres more to life than just a relationship. go do the things you like and eventually you will find someone compatible with you. its actually alot more simple than u think it is haha.

And I’m dead serious when I say start searching the internet for adult sports leagues in your area. You’d be shocked most likely at how many you find. And after that, start hitting Daytona Beach. You said you are close by and I mean my god…Florida is one of the best places in the world to meet hot half naked women on the beach in the summer!

You dont (and shouldn’t) jump into another serious relationship. Your last relationship was long enough and most likely the only one you’ve ever had. You just need to realize how many women are out there and how fun it is to date numerous one’s; guilt-free!

I am a young guy (24 years old, almost 25) and I am trying to get a move on with my life. I have a fairly decent job, I’m a homeowner and I own my car. I am in good financial shape and overall my life is not bad (at least on the outside).

I’m dying inside. I am lonely. My ex-girlfriend and I broke up almost a year ago and it broke my heart. It was a mutual thing, tried to work through some bumps in our relationship but it wasn’t working out. We ended it on good terms. We were together for 7 years. I thought she was my soul mate.

Here I am a year later, so depressed and sad. I do my basic day to day things (take care of my house, laundry, take care of my dog, talk to family members and a few close friends, go to work) and every so often go out for some drinks with co-workers and friends. I try and get out there, get noticed and just feel things out. I am not used to this "single" thing so I am not the most open person. Unless I really feel comfortable (or have some beers in me) I won’t go up to a girl unless I know there is interest.

I thought there was some interest from a girl at work (I posted a thread about this) but I’m not really sure. She’s a little younger (about 5 years) and she works for me. She goes away to college so this doesn’t seem to have any serious relationship potential.

Either way, I have come to the realization tonight that I am depressed. I always have bags under my eyes, I never want to get out of bed, I usually just want to be alone and I miss that companionship you get from a relationship. I’m sure there are others out there that have gone through this and I’m just curious how to get out of this. I’ve already got the "just get out there, stop talking to the ex" bit and for the most part I don’t talk to my ex all that much. We were best friends prior to being boyfriend/girlfriend so it’s not that easy.

I am sorry for such a long post but I am at a loss here. I feel like i’m wearing my body away and I do not feel healthy (I’ve lost about 20 lbs over the last 4 months) … I am 6’1" and I went from about 205 to 185.

the solution is to start getting outside the house and do activities you enjoy. Hiking, rock climbing, biking, etc, whatever. You need to learn to enjoy your own company again. Once you’ve done this, finding another girl won’t be that hard

Thanks. You’re absolutely right. I have good days and bad days. Some times I have the energy to go out and do these things and some days I just want to stay in bed all day and not talk to anyone.

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