My life hasn’t had a purpose for at least this past year, but now it’s gotten to the point where I just don’t anticipate anything at all and don’t look forward to anything. There is just nothing to hope for anymore. A little backstory is that I had my very first love interest with someone who was perfect, who I can’t find anywhere, especially in this city. Ever since I met this person, I see no one else who can replace her, seriously, but that’s not the reason I was interested. We never went out, but we were friends,

and it ended last year after a fight, and I tried getting her back, yet she ignored every attempt and made me look like a creep at times, and 2 months ago, I succeeded to start talking to her again but then she changed her mind again and can’t even tell me a legitimate reason. She is just ignoring me and treating my messages like they were never sent. I’m trying to suck it up and be a man, but she was my first love, and when I even try to see someone else, I just can’t concentrate on the other person, and I’m very distant and just think of this person. I can honestly spend hours lost in thought over what could have been.

I know for a fact she felt the same at that certain point, but she’s forgotten all the happy times and forced herself to forget. I tried to move on honestly, but I just can’t. Normally, I thought a week would do it, maybe a month tops, but a year? I’ve stopped taking care of myself as well. It’s affecting the way I treat people around me as well. Honestly, if I go on this way thinking there is no point to any of the things people do, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’ll probably go insane. I haven’t been coping with this using alcohol or drugs or any of that good stuff. I just tried to find something to do.

I have no good friends I can trust with this, nobody to give me good advice. I would try and find new friends, but I just don’t find interest in anything at all anymore. I can find myself staring at my wall trying to think of something to do when I’m at the verge of insanity. Paired with that, I am very self conscious and insecure of myself. People tell me to go out and find a hobby, but I just can’t do that.

I just have zero interest, and I feel even more depressed when I try something like this. People tell me to move on and find others, but I just can’t. I have tried. Posting at 3:55 AM about this proves my point even more. I can’t even sleep in fear I’ll dream a dream where I have her again and I wake up and it’s gone.
Remember how confident you were before all this happened? Stop thinking that your life is defined by this one person. Your life is exactly that…. YOURS. This girl shouldn’t phase you…. you can do better. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and start feeling sorry for her not realising what a catch you are….

Lastly make a lifestyle change.. go to the gym and work out. It boost self image and confidence. Do it… NOW!
By giving your life to her, you have effectivly become an emotional soccerball for her, or others to play with.

You need to bring the power of your life back where it belongs, namely in YOUR hands. Start getting organised, set some goals for yourself , relationships can go wrong, and its important to realise when a relationship has come to a dead end, that you have to turn around your car and head back to the highway of life.

There’s many many guys who put their life on a halt, who go cry in a closet over all the could have beens and should have beens. You can’t be like that man, you need to be strict on yourself kick your own ass and say ‘it aint working out, i need to do something else’.

Something that can give a positive swing to your life, making positive steps towards the future.

If you are in a rut and stuck with your life, you need to give it a swing in a new and positive direction by carving a new path with your own power.

Do not expect leperchauns to appear and solve your issues, do not wait, be the dictator of your own life and take the situation in your own hands.

There are only three directions in life, down where death lies, stay where you are and go in circles, or up where an improved life lies ahead, the first 2 are worthless and lead to nowhere, this is important because it means you can set the course of your life, to the only direction that is valuable ,namely upwards towards into progress. It doesn’t matter from there on wether you win or lose in life, you simply keep on following the positive course, that way you can ALWAYS be confident no matter what happens, because you know that going for gold in your life is the only right way to live.

If change was just a thought, then anyone could do it. But reality is that you can’t just sit around feeling miserable for yourself and the situation you are in while being punched in the face by the reality of life. Those thoughts of change, can’t become real if you just sit around feeling sorry for yourself, if you want to change then why would you stay in a state of paralyzation? If that happens it means you do not want to change, you are simply waiting for the world and people to change around you as you see fit, therefore

Without walking, there’s no way to move forward, you’ll just end up waiting.

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