why are people so protective of me?

this has sort’ve been a recurrent theme in my life, but i’ll just give you guys the latest example.

my last job i worked at a bakery and whenever someone was showing me stuff they would give the look

one time someone was explaining to me very long windedly how to mix ingredients, and afterwards i just said "wum"

ever since then people started calling me wum or wummy, or mr. wumbles.

if someone tells a joke they make sure to explain to it me, or they don’t tease me like the others like i’m retarded or something.

one of the ladies even hugged once for no reason

what’s up with that?
maybe you come off as stupid, slow, and perhaps slightly mentally challenged? that’s a serious answer.

this has sort’ve been a recurrent theme in my life, but i’ll just give you guys the latest example.

my last job i worked at a bakery and whenever someone was showing me stuff they would give the look

one time someone was explaining to me very long windedly how to mix ingredients, and afterwards i just said "wum"

ever since then people started calling me wum or wummy, or mr. wumbles.

if someone tells a joke they make sure to explain to it me, or they don’t tease me like the others like i’m retarded or something.

one of the ladies even hugged once for no reason

what’s up with that?

Well, I guess the first question is are you retarded? No, just kidding.

Are you the youngest?

watch this, are you kevin?

Well, I guess the first question is are you retarded? No, just kidding.

Are you the youngest?

not the youngest at work but i am the youngest in the family

watch this, are you kevin?

maybe people are reading my body language wrong?

I’m not super duper expressive. whenever someone talks to me i just look at them and let them get it all out rather than nodding my head like a chipmunk.

maybe people are reading my body language wrong?

I’m not super duper expressive. whenever someone talks to me i just look at them and let them get it all out rather than nodding my head like a chipmunk.

maybe they’re reading your body language wrong, or maybe your body language is wrong. if someone is nodding their head and saying "oh yeah that makes sense", then typically i don’t have to worry about whatever i’m explaining. if they’re just standing there, their eyes glazed over, deer in the headlights look…. i’ll probably re-explain things, or ask them if they understand.

ask your coworkers, they may be able to give you a better idea of whats going on. seeing as how 99% of OT has never met you, and no idea how you are in social interaction.

this has sort’ve been a recurrent theme in my life, but i’ll just give you guys the latest example.

my last job i worked at a bakery and whenever someone was showing me stuff they would give the look

one time someone was explaining to me very long windedly how to mix ingredients, and afterwards i just said "wum"

ever since then people started calling me wum or wummy, or mr. wumbles.

if someone tells a joke they make sure to explain to it me, or they don’t tease me like the others like i’m retarded or something.

one of the ladies even hugged once for no reason

what’s up with that?

My guess?

You come across as being immature, insecure, or otherwise incapable of handling yourself or doing things yourself.

Stop focusing on HOW other people treat you, and focus on WHY they treat you this way.

But generally, people are protective of others because they seem like they need it.
at you being kevin

edit: forgot the actual input. if you just stare at someone, they are likey to think you dont understand or dont care. real world is about people skills, even if you arent 100% comfortable acting like everyone esle, you will have to learn it eventually
mods, I just realized this is the vaginarium. Can this be moved to the Asylum please

I wondered that too… it’s not really a response.
That’s how I’m like. Nobody knows how to diagnose it but the closest thing they’ve come up with is a mild form of aspergers. People don’t treat me like that so much anymore now that I’m older…they expect me to have grown out of it or just think that I’m a little off. So embrace it while it lasts
Since I don’t know you irl and have nothing to go off of besides your many threads I am thinking of a recent one where you asked people if they preferred a very expressive person versus one that comes off almost socially and emotionally retarded. In other words, it sounds like you come off almost ignorant. Maybe you don’t realize it, but you possibly make dumb expressions or have made dumb decisions in your past and now people treat you so

afterwards i just said "wum"

if someone tells a joke they make sure to explain to it me, or they don’t tease me like the others like i’m retarded or something.

maybe people are reading my body language wrong?

I’m not super duper expressive. whenever someone talks to me i just look at them and let them get it all out rather than nodding my head like a chipmunk.

From the way you describe your body language, I would assume you were slow or at very least socially awkward if I randomly met you in the street. I work with a kid who is in fact very intelligent, interesting, and an incredible artist. However, he gives off this aura of an awkward lack of any self-confidence. He talks very quietly, never separates his teeth while talking, and many of his mannerisms and his body language are off.

Everyone at first thinks he’s odd, girls don’t go for him ever – even though, despite all this, he’ll still try to flirt with them – but once someone gets to know them, they develop a sort of babying, protecting friendship with him. Seriously, I wish I had the balls to tell him that until he changes his mannerisms, he’s going to be left in the dust socially.

I think there’s a parallel here: it seems either by difficulty or unwillingness to adapt to generally accepted social behaviors – you negatively describe nodding as squirrel-like, for example, yet this is a very normal action – you are alienating yourself from your would-be peers. At this point, it seems as though you have a decision to make: assimilate normal social behavior and be socially accepted, or continue to ignore it and be coddled by others who you’ve unwittingly convinced to think you have a deficiency of some sort.

The chipmunk reference alarms me, it leads to me think that perhaps you’re scared of losing some of your identity by adopting the body language that everyone else uses. I honestly hope, for your sake, that you are not so naive. Your body language is a communication tool, similar to language; would you define yourself largely by the language you speak? I’d hope no one would define themselves by language; how boring would you have to be for that to be a noteworthy characteristic? Just as someone wanting to be taken more seriously would work on their spelling or grammar, if you’re deficient in your usage of body language, you should seek to improve it. No one improves grammar or spelling by inventing it on their own; they instead adopt the generally accepted rules. Why not do the same with body language?
So I’m curious about the normal, socially competent crowd…did you become that way by just acting or copying everyone else around you?

Because when I do that it is extremely mentally exhausting. I hear from others though that being social is quite energizing.

So I’m curious about the normal, socially competent crowd…did you become that way by just acting or copying everyone else around you?

Because when I do that it is extremely mentally exhausting. I hear from others though that being social is quite energizing.

I’m not sure if you’re mocking or serious, but I’ll go ahead and hope you’re serious so that I don’t look like a buffoon lol . I would venture a guess that it’s like any other learned behavior or language. Initially you internalize the rules – which seem unfamiliar and confusing at first, as you lack a total understanding of the rules – of the behavior by mimicry. Soon, you become familiar with the rules and begin to understand why and how they apply to situations. Eventually you come to a point where you have become comfortable and adept enough to bend the rules to suit your style and individuality.

This is just my personal opinion, put together after no more than a few minutes thought, and I am by no means qualified to make any of these opinions, lol. However, after reflection, my answer to you would be that yes, social behavior is at first mimicked, after which it is then understood and later individualized and improvised.

I’m not sure if you’re mocking or serious, but I’ll go ahead and hope you’re serious so that I don’t look like a buffoon lol . I would venture a guess that it’s like any other learned behavior or language. Initially you internalize the rules – which seem unfamiliar and confusing at first, as you lack a total understanding of the rules – of the behavior by mimicry. Soon, you become familiar with the rules and begin to understand why and how they apply to situations. Eventually you come to a point where you have become comfortable and adept enough to bend the rules to suit your style and individuality.

This is just my personal opinion, put together after no more than a few minutes thought, and I am by no means qualified to make any of these opinions, lol. However, after reflection, my answer to you would be that yes, social behavior is at first mimicked, after which it is then understood and later individualized and improvised.

Thanks, that makes more sense. And yes, I was serious
The youngest in the family often get babied and too many things are done for them.

My family did it in the form of put downs. i.e.

"lets wait for your father/brother to make sure you did it right"
"no, you don’t know how to do it, ill do it"

etc.

You end up not knowing how to act up and get things done or how to stand up for yourself because you are convinced everybody knows how to do stuff better than you.

I’d recommend you just go out and do things. Preferably things where you can learn a skill. Good things to try might be woodworking, car repair, guns, cooking etc. Individual or 2 man sports like tennis, boxing, wrestling, etc are also good ways to build up your confidence and trust in your own abilities.

Also, learn about body language. Doing things like standing and waiting for someone to show you what to do will elicit protective or domineering emotions in people. Don’t stand at attention infront of someone like you are a private getting a talking to from his captain. Move about freely and don’t look to people constatnly for direction.

I was just confused. it’s an exclamation in the place of fuck, shit, etc.

wum? that’s funny… just say fuck or shit next time. People know how to react to fuck and shit… they don’t know how to react to ‘wum’…
1. Wum 6 up, 79 down
Exclamation expressing any emotion.
"You suck!"

"Wum."

So I’m curious about the normal, socially competent crowd…did you become that way by just acting or copying everyone else around you?

Because when I do that it is extremely mentally exhausting. I hear from others though that being social is quite energizing.

In regards to being social and feeling energized, those people are most likely more extroverted than introverted. They gain energy from social situations. They start to feel tired when they are left alone.

You seem like a highly introverted person. These people get tired by social situations and gain energy when they’re alone.

I’m personally more introverted than extroverted, but I’ve learned that I just need to keep forcing myself into social situations. It definately gets better with practice, but I still feel like I have to get away and "recharge" occasionally because of my introverted nature. Don’t use your introversion as an excuse, learn to work past it and force yourself to be more social. You obviously are having problems with this so you need to fix those problems.

1. Wum 6 up, 79 down
Exclamation expressing any emotion.
"You suck!"

"Wum."

yea, pay attention to that 79 down rating
My best friend, I love the guy to death, but whenever I try telling him something or explaining something to him he responds with a really unsure "uh..huh" and stares blankly at me. I can’t tell if he understood what I said, or if that’s just his way of him confirming. Sometimes I’ll say a very short statement that doesn’t warrant a conclusion and he’ll respond with another "go on"-like gesture as if I wasn’t finished. He’s seriously the only person I know like this and its weird because he seems to get worse as we get older. He’s a smart guy too.
It seems people think you are an idiot of sorts, perhaps they think it’s one of those million conditions. You seem capable on a message board, except the fact that you do not have an avatar.

I think you are speaking from your head all the time. You do not speak from your heart. Are you passionate about anything? Or is life just a chore for you?

You need to speak from the heart. It gets people’s attention and is more "real".

First off, self observation, observing yourself from instant to instant, the relation between you and the object, while also observing the object. This is nothing passive, it is entirely active. That way you can learn about yourself.

Also, listen to classical music and stray from Afro-Caribbean music. Listen to it consciously, and also Native American flutes, Tibetan music, etc is also full of heart stimulating vibrations.

The lunar mind only reflects what is in the heart. The heart is like the sun and lights up the world.

I ususally cant stand anything you say, but this made me lol

In regards to being social and feeling energized, those people are most likely more extroverted than introverted. They gain energy from social situations. They start to feel tired when they are left alone.

You seem like a highly introverted person. These people get tired by social situations and gain energy when they’re alone.

I’m personally more introverted than extroverted, but I’ve learned that I just need to keep forcing myself into social situations. It definately gets better with practice, but I still feel like I have to get away and "recharge" occasionally because of my introverted nature. Don’t use your introversion as an excuse, learn to work past it and force yourself to be more social. You obviously are having problems with this so you need to fix those problems.

Yeah I’m pretty introverted. When I go into social situations, especially with a group and I’m giving it my all and people in that group are doing much better than me, it’s really frustrating and discouraging. Once in a blue moon the opposite will happen and I’ll be the one commanding everyone’s attention, but overall I’m probably batting .100. And the even more frustrating part is when the stars seem like they are aligned and I am doing everything right and I’m feeling great, except it’s just not working and people aren’t responding positively.
I love all the pseudo-therapists on OT trying to diagnose this individual as if he’s sick or something.

Are you sure he isn’t doing Homer Simpson imitations?

I ususally cant stand anything you say, but this made me lol

I stray from the pack

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