Last summer i met this girl at this party which i thought was pretty cute and we spoke for a bit. My friends told me not to give her much attention because she has a b/f.

So that was that.

Last Nov i stumble on her myspace and it says single. turns out she broke up with her b/f 3 weeks prior. So i message her and we start to chat. We meet up thanksgiving night after 12 and we talk and such. Things are turning out good…

Fast forward to January… We’ve been dating ever since and i couldn’t be happier but it isn’t "official" yet because shes still hung up on her ex. So w/e i understand and i wait it out.

So fast forward to march… she leaves her purse in my car the night before and she thought she lost her wallet. so i go and look to see if its inside. no big deal right? This piece of paper falls out and i find her ex’s name and address in there. i guess from when they first met?

Now this is where i start to get suspicious. I call her one night and she doesn’t pick up the phone. which is wierd because she always does. so i’m like w/e. i call again 10 min later and her phone is off…. now i start to get wierd about the whole thing.

now this is where shit goes down hill. i start to get insecure and i put the address into my nav system.

turns out i find her car at his house…

wtf is going on?

i call her an hour later and she picks up and i ask her where shes been. she told me she was home studying. i tell her to stop lieing to me and that i saw her car at her exs house. she gets mad and hangs up. she calls back 30 min later and tells me that nothing went on and that they’re just friends. she just can’t get over not being able to see him. i trust her like an idiot.

in April we are b/f and g/f now

ok see fast forward to may

since then I’ve caught her going to his house numerous times. and every time she has been lieing to me about it. she tells me she lies to me about it because she doesn’t want to hurt me. for some reason i just can’t let her go. i love this girl to death.

i asked her if she has ever cheated on me and she said no. she told they had sex in February while we were dating but not official.

she says she’s single on her myspace and facebook. and doesn’t have any pictures of me on her pages. BUT she has old pics of her and her ex on there which pisses the fuck out of me. btw she has PLENTY of pics of us together.

she tells me the reason is because she doesn’t want to hurt her ex. he doesnt know we’re together. she says its to early.

what the fuck do i do?
Its the end. She cannot be trusted and has hurted you by lying to you, you could never trust her in the future , im sorry but you were a rebound boy at best in this relationship

Its never nice but im pulling a red flag here and saying you should end the relationship. Your better off without here, i would break it off, try to recover and then move on with my life, maby find someone trustworthy to spend your life with.

this is exactly what i dont want to hear

i love this girl and she says she loves me.

i’m trying so hard to make it work but its true that i dont trust her at all.

if it wasn’t for her ex in her life then things would be great.

what really hurts me the most is seeing her with someone else. i think this is why i dont want to let her go.
drop her. seriously. fuck that. plenty of fish in the sea… she may seem like the greatest girl right now.. and then you’ll meet someone who will blow her away.

i know it’s tough to do… but i think you know it’s what you should really do. if she did love you she wouldnt be pulling that shit. dating girls who are still hung up on their ex’s = . don’t stay with someone who’s not treating you the way you want to be treated.

yeah all my friends tell me i could do a lot better. but I’m stuck. i just can’t pull the trigger.

She loves you so much that she cheats and lies to you , while you are blindly in love and just swallow up all her mistreatment she is walking over you, this isn’t about ‘ oh i love her and want to be with her’, this is about being a mature male and saying no i am not a doormat, ‘i will not let you walk over me’, this is the right signal you should give to her, this is something someone who respects themselves would say namely ‘no matter who you are or what place you take into my life, i will not allow you to walk over me’.

In the end karma and unhappyness will hit her like a boomerang back in the head, by that time you should be long time out of that unhealthy relationship.

Yep its not what you want to hear, but sometimes in life we got to do the right thing instead of the thing what we want, this is such a case.

yeah i hear you

i guess i’m in denial. you know the worst part about it? i’ve never told ANYONE the whole story except ot. if my friends knew, they would kill me and chop my balls off
Regardless you need to stay focused, this is your lifehappyness that’s at stake here, there’s really no more exuse to stay with her, don’t think about it, ditch her immediatly.
Wow, man. She keeps lying to you because she doesn’t want to hurt you? If she had any respect towards your feelings at all and claims she loves you as much as she says she wouldn’t be going over to his house in the first place.

Fuck that shit. You don’t need it.

yeah i really need to do it.

this really affects all areas of my life.

at work. sleep. when i’m out… this really sucks bad.

for example today…

she went on vacation for a week and got back Thursday. i STILL haven’t seen her since then. I spoke with her last night and said that if i dont see her tmw that i’m not talking to her at all and she said ok.

i call her all day today and her phone is off. what the fuck seriously?
my question is, why did you stay with her after the first time you caught her lying?

And of course you should leave her!

Second, next time, don’t start dating someone JUST after they have broken up.

yeah i was pretty stupid. i fucked myself and got in too deep.

now its biting me in the ass really bad
Of course it strikes you emotionally, the person who you love is lying and cheating on you, all the more reason to cut this person out of your life. You can’t let it go on like this , she’ll only hurt you emotionally more and more on the long run, just send her an e-mail that you are breaking up with her. And get rid of her for good.

when it gets to this point it’s over. dude… you say she loves you. if she loved you shed be dying to see you when she came back on thursday. fuck that

They can’t chop your balls off because they’re safe inside of your girlfriends purse.

Do yourself a favor. Get out. ASAP.
At this point, I would just recommend you cut off all contact with her. Don’t even bother with telling her "we’re over" or "I’m breaking up with you". She has made it perfectly clear what she wants, and what she thinks of the relationship.

So…instead of trying to call her or waiting for her to call back, go out and do something fun.
Should have broken up with her when you found her car there the first time. It doesn’t matter what you want, this is reality slapping you in the face: your gf is in love with someone else.

Just grow a pair and give her the axe. There’s no easy way to do it but sometimes shit needs to be done.

Someone won’t hid something unless there is something to hide!!!!!! Secondly….just out of a relationship, BIG red flag….

Mistake #2….she LIED to you prior to becoming your gf….sad that it went this far.

WTF??? Really? NUMEROUS times???????? End it now. There is no excuse for all the lies "because she doesn’t want to hurt you" If she didnt want to hurt you she would not be hanging out with (face it , having sex with) her ex.

Were you two having sex in the same time frame??? Who cares if it was "official" or not, if she was having sex with both of you at the same time…geez I cant even finish that comment….

Doesn’t want to hurt her EX????????? For God’s sake if they are truly broken up then she would not hesitate to let him know that she has moved on!!! Too early my ass…this is a case of "wanting to have her cake and eat it too"

*sigh* sadly if you truly love this women (why I have no idea) then you have to set very clear boundaries with her of what you will and will not tolerate of her involvement with her ex. Stand your ground and demand respect!!!! If she is not willing to come clean with him and stop seeing him then tell her you will have no choice but to breakup with her….at this point you will find out if she truly loves you or if she is just using you.

You really do have to ask yourself though, even if she does come clean with her ex and breaks all contact with him, are you going to be able to honestly TRUST her EVER….if not then you guys do not really stand a chance and you should just end it now.

She never did, she even fucking TOLD you from the beginning that she wasn’t over your ex and you wasted all your time on her by "waiting"

Please move on for your own sake and never let this happen again.
yeah man, it seems like shes just playing both of you. She is still into her ex and probably has a friends with benefits thing going on with him. She tells him that she doesn’t have a bf and thats why there aren’t any pics of you up anywhere etc. So shes getting what she needs from him and probably from you to. Then she is getting attention and all the other stuff she craves from you.

Shes playing both of you or maybee just you. You need to do one of the following.
1. Dump her and move on with your life.
2. If your still hung up on her you need to give her an ultimatum and tell her look Im your bf and if you want to stay with me you need to quit lieing to me and end it with your ex friendship etc. If she refuses to do so then apparently her ex is more important then you.

Forget option number 2…even if for some reason she decided to stay with you, you would never trust her again.

Just move on.
how many times does she have to lie to you, how many times do you have to "catch her" at her ex’s house (creepy stalking btw….stop it) before you get smart and realize that this is a bad idea to stay with her?

break up with her and let her go back to her ex. it may hurt to see her with someone else, but shes already basically with him. you are stopping yourself from finding someone better by still being "with" her

sorry dude

She doesn’t feel for you like you feel for her. Normally a girl would flaunt her rebound to the world. It sounds like she’s telling you one thing and telling her friends another. There’s always going to be another guy because you’re not the man for her. You can’t force anything to change. You just have to grow up and deal with it. Your happiness is your own responsibility. It’s not up to her to be honest with you…she obviously doesn’t care enough to be honest. But you need to be honest with yourself. That’s the price of becoming an adult. You’ll have to be on your own more than you realize.
leave her, hang out with your friends and meet new girls.
She’s not going to move on. So you need to be the one to do it.

Good luck.
werd in for update, he is probably mulling over what to do now

Who’s chasing who? Quit loving her to death and play hard to get for a change. Her ex knows how to keep her on a string, shouldn’t you?

In for update too…..

sorry guys

she calls me monday and tells me that she doesn’t feel the same about me anymore

that shes so sorry

i ask her how could you have a change of heart so quick and she said she doesn’t know

i feel really empty right now

btw i took your advice guys and went to this bar/club last night

lots of girls wanted to dance with me and grabbing me and stuff

that was great and everything but even then i was thinking about her
Don’t try to contact her any more. She didn’t have a sudden change of heart, she was just never that into you, sorry

Move on, keep getting out there while also ending all contact with her and you’ll get over her. She never gave herself fully to you, find a girl who will.

.
i absolutely adore how you had to post on OT to hear everything I’ve already told you.

now let’s go get some ice cream.
update

i gave her a phone to use when she went on vacation last week. she hasn’t given it back since then. my cousin needed the phone for tmw morning since hes going out of the country.

i went to her house and she wasn’t there. went to her ex house and she was there. this is how the convo went..

Me: knock knock
ex: hello?
Me: hey i’m looking for michelle, could i speak with her?
ex: ok (him confused)
her: what are you doing here?
me: i need my phone back, my cousin is leaving to dominican republic tmw morning and i need to take it to him in queens
her: come over my house later and pick it up
me: what time are you getting home
her i dunno i’ll call you
me: i need to know since i dont want to get home at 3 in the morning… i have work tmw
her: ok i’ll pass by and drop it off
me: ok and i left

i call her when i get home and tell her i want the other phone too that i gave her (the new razr) i paid $400 for it

she texts me this… "you’re not getting my phone its mine"

me " well i paid for it, you’re messed up"

her "you fucking gave it to me and how could you disrespect me like that. well i hope you’re happy cause i’m fucking miserable"

me "i’m sorry i didn’t mean it like that i just really needed that phone and you weren’t picking up the phone."

and that was that

thoughts?

i also sent her ex a myspace message.

hey man I’m sorry for coming over like that. Its just Michelle knew that i wanted that phone since she came back from dr. My cousin is leaving out of the country tmw morning and he needs it.

I just want to clear up who i am and how i know Michelle to you since if i were in your position i would want to know too.

We met at a party last July and we started talking in November. We were dating from November to March where things got serious and we starting going out.

I’m pretty sure she was seeing both of us at the same time. She was deff playing me for a fool. I caught her numerous times lieing to me about "being home" or "studying" while she was with you. I loved the girl so i forgive…. a lot.

She went to DR and came back. She didn’t talk to me at all. Said she lost all feelings for me once she was back. She told me she doesn’t love me anymore and that she loves me as a friend.

So that’s where we are now. I would like to hear your side of the story since I’m all confused. I can’t sleep at all. Again sorry man for coming over like that. Hopefully theres no tension + you seem like a cool guy.
Now you’ve learned not to buy expensive gifts for women you aren’t even serious with. This is what happens.

And @ writing her other man a message. No point man. It won’t win you any points, only makes you look sadder to him.

Please never contact her or him again. Move on.
yeah usually the other man will get over it and shit. Sounds like she was just playing you for affection / stuff

i want that shit back
don’t let her get away. do anything you can to get her back. this includes begging, crying, pleading, bargaining, bribing her with gifts, etc. Also try to get an "in" by becoming friends with the ex. Ask him if he would like to grab a drink sometime.
why are you apologising to him and her? He doesn’t give a shit about you and she doesn’t either. Stop being a pussy about this.

whoa dude, you are creeping me out. if you had ANY chance of getting back with her (which you didnt) it would all be GONE by that little stunt you pulled by going to her ex’s house and knocking on his door to find her.

the $400 phone that is now hers, too late, its a gift you gave her, you are not getting it back. does it suck that you lost $400? yeah. so dont buy expensive gifts like that for gf’s anymore

as for the other phone, if she borrowed it, she should give it back, but in this situation, i would jsut cut my losses and accept that the phone was gone. you never should have lent it to her in the first place. things were not going well with her, and you probably did it just so you had a reason to still have contact with her. thats pathetic.

move on dude, its totally over

wherd at the very least I hope that was some bomb ass twat

at people who give someone an expensive cell phone and expect them to give it back. Especially a young woman.

Tip of advice for the future. Don’t give people THINGS. Give them TIME and ACTIVITY.

You’re not getting that phone back. Even if you took it to court, if you gave it to her as a gift, it’s hers now.
Wow man that’s so sad. She better have been a 10/10 with the most wild amazing sex

DOT

her ex probably read your message and was like "well i was banging her when you guys were dating, so no biggie"

get over the bitch, she was lying to you for months, there’s a million other women in the sea, yes it is hard at first but time heals all

how old are both of you if you dont mind answering?
I just finished reading this whole thread. Everything that needs to be said has already been said.

Bro, you live and you learn. Chalk it up as a mistake, and try not to make the same mistake again.
I agree with everyone else here. Cut your losses and move on. I will be absolutely shocked if she even gives you the phone back that she borrowed much less the one you bought for her. Even in a LTR I would never buy my man anything that I am not willing to lose.

BTW, your behavior is very stalkerish and you need to STOP IT!!!!! End ALL contact with her and him and just move on man….it’s not the end of the world for God’s sake!!!!

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