How many of you have put a career or job first, then a relationship second. Basically you are in a relationship with a girl or guy and it’s going great but you always put them second. And I don’t mean when you first start dating but even in a year into the relationship you’re still putting the relationship second in.

What is your opinion of this?
How has it affected the relationship?
Do you regret doing so?

It just seems as you get older both girls and guys seem to put there career first instead of the other way around. Which seems logical because you don’t want to ruin a career for some short term relationship. At my age I’m meeting girls who have careers or serious jobs and I’m realizing it’s different than when you were dating in your early 20’s or teens.

I think its inconsequent, your dedacation should be to what you choose first. If you made a choice for a gf you need to put your dedication towards her, and put career second and vice versa.
For years I put my career and education first. To the point where I’ve gone a long time without a g/f. It’s a bitter sweet decision. On one hand, I was able to do things I would not have been able to do while in a relationship. The bad, I get lonely and don’t have someone to share successes with.
I think it all honestly depends on the social background of where you were born.

I’m a relationships man, but I moved from my hometown to college to help aid my future career as well, so I can see things now that I couldnt three years ago, due to being introduced to people with different outlooks on life.

Where I live, and will probably return to after college, is an area which has the highest rate of teenage pregnancies (I think) and over 65 percent unemployment - so relationships and not careers are what tends to be more favoured.

So having been submitted to that for 22 years before moving, I’m a relationships man. I dont see the point in investing time and effort into something that just gets you money (and what is it actually spent on? is there a difference between a shitty 20 inch TV and a 50 inch one?) whilst if you invest in a relationship you get the love a woman and this makes me feel alot better than having a good job would.

Of course I could be saying this because I’m at the start of a new relationship
Right now…if i had to choose between a good job that I liked and a gf, I would go with the job. No disrespect intended to any women, but at this point in my life, my financial security and independence is always going to come first.
Through my own experiences and observing those of friends and family, I’ve learned that at my age (22) women are extraordinarily fickle, so I always pick career.
My relationship is going through a tense time based on this very issue. Spending 12+ hours a day at the office getting everything done and some weekends.

I guess it’s because I want out of this relationship but find it hard to end it as there is no real reason. Trying to ignore it by throwing myself into work.
School comes first, when it comes to a career. I pick living life over a job. Heck I already dedicate 55 hours a week to the job (I include travel and getting ready for work).

I rather go have fun and relax on the weekends instead of putting in the extra time, or going out on Wednesday night instead of staying a few hours later.

When I found out they were going to need me to put in 20 hours over time I was pissed. I had plans to go to the rifle range and then go relax on the beach all day with the lady friend.
I’ve heard it said once that when you’re on your death bed looking back upon your life, the last thing you think about is what kind of business you had and how much money you earned.

Doesn’t mean you make the choices now that are reckless and endanger your career. But it certainly puts some priorities into perspective doesn’t it?

Everyone’s priorities are different. Whoever said that bit about the last thing you think about in your death bed, is probably going to die alone. As the LAST thing I would want to think about before I die is money. Family, kids, hell even the dog would come before money on my mind.

Putting work before your SO can be detrimental to your relationship IMO. Unless it is something that was understood as a condition prior to you being together. It also depends to what extent would you be working? Are you gone from 7am to 10pm everyday? Are you on business trips away for weeks at a time? If so, you probably shouldn’t be in a relationship in the first place.

It all depends on the individual, and where you are in life at this point. It’s easy to say you would put your career first when you do not have someone you really care about. It really is about finding a balance between both, it can’t always be so black and white on what comes first.
If you feel driven then drive, bish, drive ’til you fall asleep at the wheel.

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