Ever have an intervention with an older relative? What happened?

Not getting into details here, but I have a relative who is about to kill herself from overexertion related to a "hobby" of sorts. She’s far too old, has no help, and I expect that unless she stops someone will find her dead.

We have openly "hinted" that she needs to stop. She gets very defensive and says we’re against her.

I struggle with the balance between letting her do her own thing and putting a stop to it before her inevitable death. I very much believe that she should have the freedom to do what she likes. But this hobby consumes her meager resources (a future problem for family, i.e. me), and I personally think it’s an escape of sorts from her otherwise unhappy and unfulfilled life.

Anyway, I’d be interested from hearing from anyone who has been in this boat.

well, not a relative of mine, but I did walk into a crackhouse and start loading boxes and belongings of my friends daughter into my car and dragged her sorry ass out of there. it was very surreal. dope just sitting in the open, some crackhead gangster peeking out the windows, people fucking in the bathroom

the cliff’s is that if she doesn’t want help, you can’t give it to her

my experience is that when a person’s life becomes unmanageable, they are willing to look at changing, often times it’s just an attempt to engage in their old behavior again, but sometimes it sticks

you can start by cutting off any sort of aid that helps them engage in the behavior
you can refuse to associate with them when they are engaging in the behavior
interventions are tricky. a friend of mine used to do them (he owns a mental health facility), but after A&E started doing shows, what was once just a service of a few facilities became a cottage industry of dangerously unqualified people confronting addicts and getting people killed.

A few places to start would be to ask does she want help, if so, what does "help" look like? Sometimes an addict needing "help" might just juke your for some money to get back on their feet, but it winds up at the dopehouse. Gotta make sure everyone is on the same page. But, you can expect resistance. If this is a scenario of a true mental disorder like OCD, then a professional mental health worker might be a good consultant.

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