My manager is making my life hell.

So, I work for a woman that has serious boundary issues to the point of being unprofessional. I sometimes call her on it which naturally only serves to inflame the situation as she becomes angry for days or weeks afterward. But I do need to make her aware that her behavior makes me uncomfortable.

To give you an idea of the extent of the issues, here are a few things she’s said/done:

– she offered to send Mormon missionaries to my home after my mom passed away.

– she has asked me to arrange her home furniture deliveries from Pottery Barn
– she has told me about updating her resume and looking for another job
– she has told me exhaustive personal details of her medical history and inability to have kids
– she has told me about her husband being abused as a child
– she frequently provides exhaustive detail of her arguments with coworkers

But most recently, she has been telling me about another coworker that is now living with my manager and her husband because this coworker has left her husband. She’s divulged extensive details of the split between this coworker and her husband, as well as personal details about the coworker. My manager told me last week that she wanted the coworker to move out and that my managers husband was uncomfortable and upset by having this person living with them.

Unfortunately, she wasn’t going to talk to the coworker about boundaries and expectations for when she’d move out because my manager was concerned about the impact it would have on her work reputation.

So, just to recap: my manager is willing to strain her marriage and upset her husband because she’s too concerned about what the gossip circle at the office might say about it.

I really don’t have much of a move here, I simply try to minimize the conversations and avoid the gossip but then I end up feeling like shit for subjecting myself to this appalling work environment. I need the job and I actually like the work I’m doing but the management above me are truly awful human beings.

I just needed to get that off my chest.

It sucks that go have to walk a line between "I fucking hate you" and "I need this job so I can’t tell you that."

I feel for you.

To be honest this wouldn’t bother me at all. In fact I’d find it quit entertaining, as long as I don’t tell her ANYTING about me! Just don’t repeat anything she tells you to anyone.

She probably has little empathy, hence no boundaries.

To be honest this wouldn’t bother me at all. In fact I’d find it quit entertaining, as long as I don’t tell her ANYTING about me! Just don’t repeat anything she tells you to anyone.

She probably has little empathy, hence no boundaries.

You’ve got that right. I’ve had coworkers over to my house in groups that included her and I could tell she had very little empathy just based on the way she treated my dog. I swear I thought she was going to swat my dog a couple times just for trying to greet her.

Needless to say, she’s not welcome to come over anymore.

– she offered to send Mormon missionaries to my home after my mom passed away. She should have only offered to let her know if you need anything, which is cliche, but religion should be left out of it (unless you have the same beliefs), but still.

– she has asked me to arrange her home furniture deliveries from Pottery Barn dafuq?? I would NEVER ask anyone to do my personal shit

– she has told me about updating her resume and looking for another job bad idea – NEVER tell ANYONE at work you’re looking for another job

– she has told me exhaustive personal details of her medical history and inability to have kids UGGGH I work with someone who goes into WAAAAAYYYY too much detail about her *ahem* bowel issues, and has a bad habit of talking about them while you’re eating – hence why I leave the office for lunch

– she has told me about her husband being abused as a child no one should EVER discuss a spouse’s personal issues, this shows complete lack of respect

– she frequently provides exhaustive detail of her arguments with coworkers BAD BAD idea

I would draw the line immediately and not get involved with any more such conversations, it could cause you to get dragged into something horrible down the road

Get out of that circle.
Punch the clock. Work. Punch clock. Go home.

With people like this, SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN. It will be a lawsuit, affair, work blow up, HR investigation, something like that. If you think it sucks now, just wait until you’re in the middle of that shit.

Walk away.

Get out of that circle.
Punch the clock. Work. Punch clock. Go home.

With people like this, SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN. It will be a lawsuit, affair, work blow up, HR investigation, something like that. If you think it sucks now, just wait until you’re in the middle of that shit.

Walk away.

Nah, nothing will happen. The company I work for never, ever, EVER takes action against inappropriate behavior.

I know she’s looking for another job so I can wait her out. I just minimize my contact with her and try to always steer conversations to business or banal/"safe" topics. The thing is that the job is significant income and it’s easy, not to mention I have huge latitude in my job for where I work and the hours I keep.

I just need to keep focused when dealing with this one toxic individual.

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