I seem to have fallen in love with a female co worker. We spend a lot of time together and share a lot of personal information with each other and tend to seek each other out. The problem is she is engaged ( for over 5 years now)to someone and has a child with them. That being said, she is quite often saying how she wants to leave him and doesn’t care for him. My problem is should I pursue her knowing she is unhappy in her current relationship? Or should I distance myself so I’m not adding fuel to her relationship problems.

Keep your closeness as a friend but keep you distance as a future bf/lover. You’ll feel much better about yourself once they break up and you didn’t have a negative hand in it.

I was in the same situation in my twenties and did just that and once they broke up i didn’t pounce, eventually she came to and we started a relationship. If it’s meant to be don’t rush it it will just grow on its own.
Stay away. Pursue if she ever becomes single.

If you pursue her now, it’s an exercise in frustration, because no matter how close you guys become, she’ll still be going home to the husband. Not to mention, she’d be getting way more out of it than you would.

Go do a search in the Vag…this happens all the time, and it hardly ever ends well.
Ask in the main if you want to know how many men have been told by a woman who is engaged/married/dating another man that they want to leave him to be with them.

It’s an old trick and most of the time it ends up with you sitting there cock in hand being strung along with nothing she ever says happening. You might get to fuck her, hell you may even end up being with her if you are ‘lucky’ but just remember how you got there and that she will probably do the same thing to you.
Like a great deal of relationships, she is choosing to leave as soon as the passion dies. Reality has set in, there is no love in her relationship if she is behaving in that way, and not much love for the child either. The brutal truth.

If she gets with you, how will it be different?

Generally people who have been married for many years have something beyond passion that connects them. An intellectual connection, emotional dependency, fear, convenience, but rarely love. We like to think that we know how to love, this way it is easy not to have to work to become better then we are.

Anyone who popped a baby, is dragging an engagement out for five years (doesn’t care about him, but won’t leave him either?), and latches on to guys at work is seriously messed up. And there’s probably a lot more you don’t know about. I wouldn’t go near that even if she did cut him off for real.

You’re not "in love". You have a crush. In itself there’s nothing really wrong with that; we’ve all been there. But look at the bigger picture for all the baggage this babe is dragging with her.

She’s not serious about you. She’s not serious about her fiance (repeat after me: five years???). She’s not even serious about being a responsible parent to her child.

She’s doing such a great job screwing up her life on her own it would be hard for you to add to her problems, but she sure as hell will add to yours. Honestly bro, I would not even friendzone this chick.

I’ll give you my stock Tevin advice that I’ve used before: There are a zillion unattached, level-headed normal chicks out there. Go date one of them.

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