I’ve been dating my girlfriedn for 3 years. We love each other. We often talk about marriage. Lately, we’ve been driving each other a bit nuts because our careers are dominating our lives and when we’re together (we live about 100 miles apart), we end up fighting over petty bullshit.

We’re trying to take a break, but we’ve seen each other twice during the past 2 weeks. One time was tremendous, the other was great until we got into a fight about nothing.

Any tips or pointers from those with experience dealing with this?

just apologize and end the fight. works for me and my gf when we argue. if that doesnt work i usually just give my gf a kiss and that shuts her right up. if she starts back up again just say something along the lines of how you’d rather enjoy your time together instead of fighting

I dunno. I think this would depend on the subject being fought over, and the girl. If it really is nothing, then sure. But if its something important to her, then she could see this as you not caring about her opinion.

TS, at any point in the future, will your careers give you a chance to be closer? If you get married you are not going to stay 100 miles apart for your jobs, right? Maybe it would be easier if your careers were closer together. At least that would give you more time together to determine if the fighting is all the time, or just because of job stress.

well that’s just it. He said theyre fighting over little trivial things. If it’s something important, then it’s probably the worst choice possible.

Every relationship has little, petty stuff. From experience, I can tell you that the petty stuff bothered me only when there was a larger, unaddressed issue under it [such as: whose job/paycheck/problem is more important and who should compromise more/less]. This is a couple’s challenge in prioritizing, goal-setting and problem solving which can be learned. Don’t sacrifice your love for each other when you can learn to work through your challenges. Go to a couples counselor who will guide you on learning to solve your problems effectively, [not one who will only help you to point the finger at each other. I learned that lesson too late!]
Step 1: don’t let your careers take over your lives. What do you think that will accomplish? There’s no upper limit to the amount of work your employers will ask you to do; they’ll just keep giving you more and more work until you learn to say "no, I have other stuff I have to do," such as paying attention to your family. There is no victory condition for a career.

Step 2: when you realize an argument is bullshit, say that it’s bullshit and stop arguing. You accomplish nothing by winning an argument about bullshit, except scoring brownie points, which you ought to know by now won’t help you get along any better. Maybe you’re accustomed to arguing until a winner is decided and it’s hard to stop, but you know what? Relationships are hard. There’s no victory condition for bullshit arguments either.

TL;DR: stop trying to win.

Just because he thinks its trivial does not mean she does. As Nite Lilly said, there could be underlying issues that he is not aware of.

It all comes down to priorities. If they both want to keep their careers and stay where they are at, then their relationship will suffer. If they rather work on their relationship then one or both will have to sacrifice a bit of their careers.
Don’t use the word "sacrifice". It’s not a sacrifice to pay more attention to something that’s more important to you vs. something that’s less important to you. When I buy groceries, I’m not "sacrificing" money to get them, I’m trading-up; I’m hungry, and groceries are better to eat than money is. Likewise, if the TS actually does care more about his relationship than his career, then he’ll be trading-up if he allocates more of his time and energy to his relationship. If he’s anything like most 20-30-somethings I’ve met, he’s laboring under the delusion that he ought to care more about his career than anything else, but that’s not what he actually wants. If that’s the case, then he needs to start being honest with himself about what his priorities are.
Move in with her ASAP. You will not be broke and you will have enough money to get by. Go out on lots of dates.

You will learn how to remember your self. You will remember that you will die and this will activate conscious self awareness of yourself. When you sense shame, detect fear, notice doubt, or perceive frustration when you are interacting with her you will apply a healthy dose of patience. You will work hard to rebuild your image with her. You will work hard to impress her and make her think highly of you.

Go. Do it all. She is beautiful and worth it. It means you have to do a lot of stuff and fast. The other option is to lose her and you will at this rate.
After three years, two careers, and "talking about" marriage, it doesn’t seem like either of you are truly committed to moving the relationship forward.

You are on a slow train to Failville unless you both work together and come up with a plan to spend more time as a couple. How serious about each other can two people can be when they live 100 miles apart and have no particular intentions of being closer? This arrangement cannot stand long term and a breakup is a forgone conclusion if things don’t change. Careers notwithstanding, one of you will ultimately have to move.

If the job is more important than the relationship, that’s fine. It’s a legitimate decision and there’s nothing wrong with throwing oneself into a career if that’s where the desire is. You may be in a situation where you can’t have it both ways.

So, you’re working on taking a break from each other? Or lessening the time you see each other?

How does this HELP your relationship? The issues won’t go away. Seeing each other less won’t strengthen your feelings or commitment for each other. It’s like someone else said, you’re starting to grow apart.

Honestly, you have to each look and see what is the most important in your life. If you can’t balance career and relationship, then you have to decide which one is going to continue.

Again, it’s something that he needs to pay attention to. There’s nothing stopping him from saying "Let’s talk about it later when we’re both not worked up."

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