Brief cliffs on my situation for the past 6 months.

Started a new job making it a total of 2 jobs. (9 hour shift, 3 hour shift afterwords somewhere else).

Moms dying from stage 4 lung cancer and its in the worst ending stage where sometimes she’s completely gone and sometimes she’ll snap out of it. Doctors say it wont be long… very… very hard to deal with.

Losing the house and im moving into an apartment in about 3 weeks.

Girlfriend wont talk to me anymore.

Life is more interesting than it’s been for me in the past right now. A lot more interesting actually and so far im coping pretty good with all of it. The only thing im not handling all that well is my girlfreind of almost 5 years has gone completely schitzo.

Im not perfect and ill be the first to admit that but I do my best and try to make things as happy as I can in life. Aside from me working 2 jobs for the first time in my life and literally having no time at all to do anything ive stayed relatively sane and happy.

Im really not an asshole at all and when it comes to my lady my biggest issue is hands down that typical nice guy bullshit that I have no control over. I dont know if that’s the cause of her not liking me anymore but it probably is because I literally am no challenge at all. I guess women like that continuously and I dont know… with me when you have my heart… its yours im not going to mess with you lets just be happy and do shit together and keep it real.

I havent really had time to try and get her back but anytime im free I try to call her and text her and see how she’s doing.. I’ve listened to friends and tried being kind of a dick….. tried ignoring her…. both kind of bring her back to me in a sense where she’s nice to me but after a day of that ill try and talk to her and she wants to be alone and wont talk to me. I’ve tried what I believe to be everything but I guess she’s just….. bored with me?

I really have no idea what she’s doing or if she’s cheating.. but last week I bought a movie for us to watch.. some scary movie for us to watch together.. she seemed like she wanted to watch it with me thats why I got it – I asked her if she wanted me to rent a scary movie to watch and she said yeah

i bought some popcorn.. prepared everything to watch it with her and she took the movie to her room, locked the door and shut her phone off and didnt talk to me for 3 days

smiled when she took the movie too…

felt like i got kicked in the stomach and that was the last time I talked to her. We live together and although im not home at all that much i’ve been trying to reconcile before the end of the month when we part ways.

We wont be living together at the end of the month so im guessing moving on is all I can do but man.. really puts some weird thoughts in your head with this shit going on.. I really love this girl, and I dont know for sure what happened I just wish whatever it is she’d be blunt and tell me and give me the opportunity to at least explain myself.

to be totally honest: I can understand why your gf is majorly pulling away. My guess is that 75% of it is out of control…but you work 2 jobs, 12 hours a day, and your mom is sick.

Also, if you’re financial situation is deteriorating…that’s a lot of shit to deal with.

There could also be a bunch of normal little stuff going on that we don’t know about.

Best thing I can advise is to just let it go, and work on all the other stuff you have going on.

Sorry to hear that so many things are going so badly in your life right now.

This quoted part tho, you need to know that this is not normal at all. I hope you realize that.

If it were me, I’d get the hell away from that woman. I know, it’s easy for me to say but honestly, it doesn’t sound like you have any sort of relationship anyways so might as well punt the girl.

Good luck man.

Good advice

Sister and freinds tell me the same thing…. i just keep trying because im in love…

I think though now i have no choice as she’s made it crystal clear on how she feels. So I guess im going to need to pick my head up and walk forward but it’s going to be hard since I live with her for another 3-4 weeks here
Why would I say I told you so?

The last thread I read from you I just felt sad that you seemed so in denial about your gf’s lack of feelings for you and that you still insisted on going above and beyond for her

Your post is obviously lacking a ton of details as to how she started distancing herself even more from you, but I’m not sure if it’s just too much to write or you don’t even understand it yourself. Either way, I’m terribly sorry about your mother; that’s always a horrible thing to go through. Other than that I hope you leave her for good and respect yourself enough to not let another woman treat you like that again

How can I not let another woman treat me like this? I can’t help it

im almost 30 and I have no idea how to change to just tell a girl to fuck off like all my freinds seem to be able to do

they all told me so many times just like you did to just kick her to the curb

I cant do it I dont know why and there are a ton of details im leaving out

You can, you just have to want to not let women walk all over you You can’t hide behind the idea that you don’t possess the willpower to say no for the rest of your life; unless you never want to be respected or taken seriously.
Man, I know what you are going through.
My mom passed away from cancer when I was 14 which left my father and us siblings.

Fast forward 12 years later.. Family has distant their selves..

I had a child – and currently in a really nasty custody dispute in which my child’s mother lied and said I put my hands on her which resulted in protection orders and all kind of shit.

My father is going through stage 3 lung cancer now – and I am the only one who is caring for him. I have no one else to help with the appointments, the medications, cost – I cannot work and pay all this shit -

There is a reason why I told you what I am going through –

From my experience, don’t let a female get to you like this!! It’s really messed up that she knows what you are going though and yet, treats you this way. You do not need this in you’re life right now.

Do your best to keep sane.

You think the two jobs are making you happy. It’s making you avoid this whole situation – which up front seems to help keep your mind off shit – but in the background – it’s going to make you feel guilty and you are blaming your hectic schedule on the reason why you’re girlfriend is pushing away.

She was probably like this before the long hours… (I apologize if I am wrong)

In the last couple months, I was almost in you’re position – with the job scheduling and girlfriend playing games… I am much better off mentally to let all that drama go. I know it’s hard to "let go" and move on with your life …

Its easier said than done. We all know it and it hurts, but imagine if you didnt have this girl you are fighting for.

I’m feel terribly bad for you because when a girl has your heart, it seems like nothing else matters. Then seeing you’re mom like this; – it’s too much.

I found out its best to just let her go. For me, it hurt for months. I also went above and beyond… Don’t be like me and try to figure out what you did wrong. Sometimes we are just too good for them..

I was able to get over it.. I just focus on my dad and live my life each day at a time. There WILL be other girls.. trust me! I even went on a date after my ex girlfriend assaulted me, and gave me a black eye…

If you let this go – so much would be lifted from your shoulders. I wish the best for your mom and you, bro

thanks man
god damnit it’s bothering me so much

I mean how do you just stop caring for somebody – I dont even know how that is possible.

Like a light switch with her..

one day she wants me to marry her and tells me she loves me and then boom dont like me anymore.

I get that that’s what it seems like, but I guarantee, this didn’t happen over night.

Breakups rarely occur with a split second decision. She had been thinking about it for awhile, distancing herself from the relationship. The problem is, you can’t be inside her head, so you only know what you see happening.

And yes, it will take awhile for you to get over her. You need to find stuff to do with your time, things you enjoy that can distract you and keep you from moping around.

I have said this before, and I am gonna keep saying it cause it is true.

The end goal is to be in a relationship with someone where you are BOTH in love with each other.

This is hard and it is not something that can be ‘fixed’. You are either in love with someone or you are not.
Having one person in love and the other putting up with is NOT the goal. The only goal is both in love.

If she is in love with you are you are not in love with her you owe it to her as much as yourself to break it off. You will be miserable, you need to give her an opportunity to find someone that can give back to her what she is giving.

In your case she was not in love and you were. You deserve to be in a relationship where she is giving to you what you are giving in return. She recognized this was not the case.

It sucks, it hurts. But one day you will find that person and you will be like, ‘She did the right thing.’.
im angry right now

woosahhhhhh

wooosahhhhhhh

*rubs ears*

yeah.. you’re right

you can use that anger to motivate you to change

yeah I know

from experience?

Yeah, people tell me that all the time.
I think you are more in love with the idea of being with her, and who she used to be..
That person is gone, and you know she is not who she used to be, and from what I read, I don’t think there is any way to rekindle the relationship.

From my own experience my ex did the switch.. literally was a good guy one day, and then batshitcrazy the next.. I tried for three years to keep it together and it just got worse and worse.. I hoped for better, I wanted better, but it wasn’t going to happen.
Better is without him.. MUCH better, my life has actually done a complete turn around without his drama and stress..
I think you need to focus on you and your mom.. and NOT on her, she’s not worth it IMO
where do you want to go with this girl? We can’t force people to act the way we want some times. I imagine she might not stick with you through tough times later in life even if you find a way to make it work this time.

your mom is dying. I know you want somebody to be there especially a girl. I’m sorry man. Collect your thoughts when you can and do the tasks you need to, to progress in life during those times you can keep it together. things will get better or possibly not get worse. this is a marathon, so try and give yourself a chance.

I didnt read the whole thread so my answer may or may not match up.

I only wish I can take my own advice if I go trhough something as tough, so I understand it may be the hardest thing in the world to do and you may not do it.

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