Do any of you have problems with being too judgmental of your friends? I feel I get mad over my friends’ personality flaws. I’m 26, so I am starting to get older and going out less. My friends are in a different mindset, so when they go out they tend to get really really out of control. Last night I practically had to babysit 3 of my friends who don’t handle their alcohol well. It happens quite often, so I am not sure if this is a situation where I need to distance myself from these people or break off the friendship altogether. Can you really evaluate friendships based on whether they add value to your life and make you a better person? In this case they bring me down. It seems too drastic to just cut off a relationship that you invested a lot of time in. I’m not very great at maintaining relationships to begin with. I want more out of a friendship than going out and getting drunk.

ok, first off, your title is misleading.

I don’t think you’re being judgmental of your friends based on personality differences, but simply based on their actions.

It’s simple. If you don’t enjoy hanging out with them, or what happens when you don’t hang out with them…then don’t hang out with them. If they ask why, you can give your reasons, if you so choose.

And yes, stuff like this is perfectly valid for deciding whether to continue a friendship.
You’re not being too judgmental.

What kind of friendship is this? Are they really close friends, or just people you like and have (or used to have) fun with?

Do they ever stop to ask you what the heck you’d rather do? Do they even consider if you’re having fun or not with them? Do you ever have something remotely resembling a serious conversation?

Friendship is meant to work from both ends, although people may have different ideas on what friendship is.

If they are real friends, you should be able to talk about these things with them. If they can’t take you seriously, or won’t listen to you, then it would be worth considering very seriously cutting things off. Even if you’ve invested a lot of time. Investing on something that’s just not worth it isn’t productive for your life.

If things go better, surely there must be something everyone enjoys and can agree to do from time to time? Having something in common must be one of the reasons you all were friends in the first place, or that’s what I’m assuming at least.
On occasion I’ve had to babysit friends and they’ve had to babysit me…on occasion. If it was a regular thing I doubt it would last long.

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