Recently I haven’t been able to connect with people or have felt that "feeling" when you meet someone and you know you could start a relationship with that person. I’m not talking about friendship, I’m talking about more. I haven’t felt chemistry is SO long and I don’t know if its because I’ve been hurt or because I haven’t met anyone worthwhile. I also tend to cut myself off and distance myself from people who have an interest (sexually/relationship) in me. I will do things to piss them off on purpose so they back off, or just stop responding to them. I don’t know why I’m this way but I really want to connect with someone on another level and it just hasn’t happened at all in the last 2-3 years. I’ve had a few meaningless relationships. My most recent one was 6 months and I never once had REAL feelings for him. I liked him, we got along, he was cute….but I couldn’t feel anything

It seems like every time I get those feelings for someone they end up shooting me down, or are unreliable, confused about their sexuality or something else is fucked up with them that prohibits us from building a healthy relationship. I’m lonely at times, and want to share my life with someone. I have plenty of friends but being alone and single is boring. I am COMPLETELY comfortable by myself…I enjoy my own company fully, its not that I’m dependent on someone else to share my life with, its more the desire. I hate third wheeling it with other couples. I sometimes think I’m that ugly friend with no chance of ever having a real relationship with someone. I have lowered my standards, dated people who I know I’m not attracted to just to try….and I’ve felt nothing.
Love is not something you can force , its something you let go. When people hurt you, you shut yourself down and become introverted. What you should have done is shut out the people instead of yourself. Anyone who isn’t worth your time you kick out of your life, but that doesn’t mean you should allow yourself or others stop you from living. Its more like searching needles in the haystack, you just need to surround yourself with people who genuinely support you. Yes they are there, people who you can have fun with and go out with. If i where you id find a nice group of intelligent or good female friends, and go out guy hunting with them. You’ll just have to search until you find that person that sets off a spark within you. At least know that the only thing you learn from being introverted is that need to be extroverted in order not to become lonely and miserable and without friend or support. Yes you can save yourself and be completely reliant on your own, you know that and you don’t even have to proof that to anyone, but shutting yourself off from the world only means you miss out on life. Although its sometimes necessary or even the type of person who you are, i wouldn’t recommend doing it too long. Keep going outside, do something and save yourself.
Everyone goes through periods where they feel disconnected from the rest of humanity. Sometimes it lasts for years. As you get older it will become more common, honestly.

But the thing about pushing people away when they have an interest in you…you need to stop doing that, assuming you think they’re attractive anyway. You need to stop assuming you’re going to disappoint them and let them experience you as you are. You don’t know what they need from another human being and in all likelihood they don’t know what they need either, though they may know what they want. Even what you might think is a lame half-assed attempt at being nice to someone might be the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for them, not because they’ve been neglected but because nobody else ever gave them anything they knew how to appreciate. Just try it and put in a reasonable effort to make things work, and see if they start moving in a direction you like. If not, well, all you were going to do otherwise was sit around and be lonely, so it’s not like you would’ve wasted your precious time on them.

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