I’ve been on this huge kick lately where I make no fucking excuses for anything with women, and I go for what i want every time because when I started doing this and talking to every woman who I saw, i realized that regret is the most painful emotion of them all. I don’t know I’m going to regret not going after her this time, or if it was a good decision, but right now I feel the regret. I don’t want to look back on this in 10-years and think I made a mistake and compromised my life.

Any thoughts?
looking back is not always productive.

If you want this woman, go after her. Now.
If you don’t want this woman, don’t spend effort reviewing and reviewing and reviewing.

Find the next woman to have copious amounts of sex with.

Hey where do you meet women now? Do you actually go up to them at any place? And I think you’ve answer your own question.
i’m assuming this was just to air your thoughts, since you answered your own question

usually in bars, but I like grocery stores, gas stations, wherever I go. If I see a woman who I’m attracted to, I talk to her because she might be cool.

I’d like to say I’m a pretty honest guy. Not really compulsive at all.

No offense but what do you think?
It has to be something in your past that made you feel this disconnected. Any chance you were raised in a mortuary?

I didn’t quite mean it like that. I was wondering if you had ever been diagnosed with depression. Feeling detached is a symptom of a lot of different disorders.

no offense but your mother is a whore
If you have insurance look into some therapy. Depression is a very hard thing to overcome if it’s brought on by nothing that you can pin point.

Do you think it is a good idea for mother’s day gift?
if your mother is into such items then yes! it will be more of the thought that will make her day though
My mom has been talking about getting her hair cut at an aveda salon, but always mentions its too much to spend on herself.. so I am getting her a gift certificate…

Another good thing is a gift certificate to victorias secret….. I know it may seem weird since you are a son, but I get women in all the time(i work there) that got one from a friend/relative/whomever, and they really like the idea of getting something nice for themselves… Whether it be nice pajamas, or a GOOD bra(not one from like target or walmart), perfume, lotions, w/e…. A lot of women wont spend the money on themselves, so it’s nice to do so, and you know it will be used for something worthwhile….. I can never have enough good bras and panties!

can i get a

I know what you mean. I feel like that right now.
I know what you mean….right now, I have the feeling of "Life: 1, Me: -5."
D: Yeah man I know what you mean. That crap sucks because one minute you’re like YAAY! and then then next you’re like ….oh crap.. yeah this really sucks.
sorry to hear things aren’t going for ya.. hope whatever it is gets better.

if only people were as sympathetic and able to connect in real life (or hell even outside of a subforum designed to keep people from flaming)

good luck

yeah ain’t that the truth.

I spent the last month wondering what life would be like if I settled down with her, only to find out today she spent it wondering what it would be like without me. That’s a new twist on an old friend… pain. Well, it’s certainly been quite some time, pain, it seems inevitable that those fleeting moments of happiness always lead back to you.

Depart from me, you bastard, happiness, I never knew you.

same here. at teh very least, i did get her into my life, which was the desire, but come monday she flies back to italy
Yeah…it sucks. I’ve been there before. I’m still kinda there now. It’s a sticky situation. How long were you together?

One of my favorite quotes that helps me get through the tough times (it’s not very inspirational, but it’s still accurate):

In three words I can sum up everything I know about life: It goes on.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning, they
Do not go gentle into that good night…

Rage, rage against the dying of the light…
that’s beautifull,

Personally i learned that you should never go into a relationship with the expectation that it works out, reality is that a woman can pack her bags and leave anyday. Remember that its YOU who make YOU happy. Therefore bring the power of your life happyness back where it belongs, namely in your hands.

It ought to be, it was written by one of the greatest alcoholic poets ever. Dylan Thomas.

I disagree. Contentment is a solitary thing, until its shared and multiplied a thousandfold by someone you love, where it becomes happiness. Contentment is solitary, happiness is shared.
I feel your pain. I don’t put that kind of effort into posting here, but I often write in much the same way to express the horror I feel in losing someone. It feels as though to gain means solely to lose.

I thought guys were supposed to be the ones who always wanted to leave and have commitment issues, and girls clingy and aching to settle down.

Yet all I see is the opposite….

When a woman loses a man, she picks up her life as before and perseveres. But when a man loses a woman, he dies by half.

-Cussler.

True

And why are "they" supposed to be driven by emotions, while we are the ones who are driven by logic and sense.

I got my best smile on, but it’s no disguise
It don’t hide the pain in these eyes

It’s taken every bit of strength that I have
To keep a hurt look off of my face
I can’t keep from lookin’ back over my shoulder
At the lucky man takin’ my place
Oh, if it weren’t for my pride, I’d probably take off runnin’
Guess what I’m feelin’, is what I got comin’

God, I wish I had kissed you last night, but you’ve never cheated… and I refuse to turn you into what I am… -sigh-

Stay strong brother

See, this is one of those quotes that sounds really good, but is completely baseless and untrue.

I’ve never felt so alive.

…
I remember when you first wrote this thread. So poetic but sad. Feeling any better these days?

fucking amazing.

aww quote aww

Enough that the Neruda poem rings true.

Cussler, channelling MacDonald, I think..

If you want to learn how to write expressively, start there…
wow the poetry/prose watever is great in this thread.

Sorry it died broseph, I don’t have anything else useful to say.

My ex (only ex) has been pretty much emotionally abusing me since I transferred away to a 4 year school. Well, she’s pretty much ALWAYS done this more or less. Cheating in all sense of the word. Chronic liar. I’m too weak to have really done anything about it. Although I did break up with her before going to school, I did keep going back to her during breaks. Every time she swore to me nothing was going on or this or that. Every time I’d find out she was dating some other guy or slept with some other guy or went back to some other guy. Every time she would make me feel like a piece of shit because I was skeptical. And almost every time I turned out to be right.

So this went on all year. It’s pretty much battered me emotionally. Not only that, but I haven’t made any friends here and a lot of my previous friends have faded out, turned into different people or decided I’m too much of a bummer to remain friends with.

So to get any kind of social contact, I started playing WoW again. It’s a pretty pathetic fix for social contact, I’ve got to be honest. That and it totally killed my drive to do anything else, not that it was super strong to begin with. So, this last semester I’ve completely failed all my classes.

Oh and at the beginning of the semester I got in the first accident I’ve ever been in in 8 years of driving. Now, I have money problems. It’s not really that I’m in debt. I don’t use credit cards. I only have my car loan (of which the value of my car greatly exceeds the current balance of the loan) and some small student loans. But my checking account is empty. I don’t even have enough money to pay for the gas to get home now that the semester is over.

So here I am, I’ve been in my room at school (semester is over) and I haven’t done anything for 2 weeks but play WoW and hide from people. None of the people that I still think might be my friends have called me. My grandparent’s have called me a couple times but I don’t have the heart to talk to them and worry them about anything. I don’t know when or if I’m going home. I’d rather just end the anxiety and depression.

I’ve had a problem with depression since probably middle school. My ex gave me a bit of happiness while I was with her but it was bittersweet as soon as I started finding out about the deceptions. I’ve always thought about suicide, but I fail at even being able to formulate a plan for it. I’m scared and I really do think there wonderful things about life, I just don’t think I’ll personally ever achieve them.

I have no interest in taking drugs. I don’t know if I’ve been manipulated, but I don’t like the idea of what happens to people on antidepressants or any kind of drug like that. If I can’t ok with life as myself, I don’t want to be at all.

This is probably just a waste of server space and way too long to read. Also, it’s probably just like everyone else’s problems. Thanks if you even opened the thread anyway.
All I can recommend is

Your attachments are the sources of your sufferings.

Basically, there is a Buddhist side that needs to be there.

I’ve been cheated on. You’re seeing the worse side of life. WoW and a cheating girlfriend… been there, done that… didn’t get the t-shirt. But I did become a Gnostic, and find out so much about myself through my suffering, that I like to live.

And this suicide talk. Come on man, people have had half their face blown off in wars and still come home a hero and live a good 70 years, with no fucking face at all.

Dude in Russia had his face bitten off by a bear and he is still alive.

His face man, his face!

Like you did get screwed around a lot, of course, but taking your life over it? Cmon now.
Let it go, you know you can do better and you will.

Try getting out and meeting new people, it can be very hard at first, but you will feel so much better once you have some interaction other than computer games. Get some outside time, go for a run or a bike ride, play basketball or something with some friends, it helps to clear your head of all the negative crap going on.
To add to that, go the gym like crazy and observe objects and your relation to the object without thinking, and do that for like four months until you have your head clear and healthy.

I mean we are giving PRACTICAL ADVICE THAT USUALLY WORKS here…
i think that you should pick up the phone from your grandparents, it’d be good for you to hear the voices of those that love you, for some that is motivating factor in itself. i would obviously try and ask your grandparents for a train ride ticket home or something maybe, and than as stated, do better man. Look beyond that girl, a second of bliss isn’t worth the years of pain, no matter what poets insist. If you like sports, i know at my school there is always people playing basketball and people will ask you to join, and they meet like once or twice a week, so try to get on that and build friends?

I’m scared and I really do think there wonderful things about life, I just don’t think I’ll personally ever achieve them.

Yeah you will, don’t shoot down the concept of happiness when you are just beginning to smile. Don’t let the reason for not improving be because a lack of motivation, if you understand that there are wonder things about life, use that to experience them. If you love nature, make a habbit to try and find a trail this break and go biking, if you love movies, make a list of movies you must rewatch or see that are coming out.

"Life offers you flakes of gold, but, you have to go out and grab them" a mentor of Christopher.

I have been where you are. I started the long road to recovery years ago, and I’m starting to feel better.

Your feelings are not your fault. The depression is controlling you. The fact that you wrote all of that out to us at all tells us that you’re hurting, and that you don’t want to hurt. It’s okay to feel that way. But it’s also okay to not want to feel that way, too.

Please don’t hurt yourself. I’ve been suicidal too, and it’s just because you’re scared. The fear and sadness is okay. You aren’t weird. You just need some outside help and love to get you past this.

I googled Issaquah and found a crisis center that will be able to help you. They won’t judge and they will listen to what is going on, not only with the suicidal feelings, but about your troubles with your ex.

24 - Hour Crisis Line

(866.427.4747)
206.461.3222

Please call the number and talk to them. I would call it for you if I knew you, because I would want you not to hurt any more. Please don’t die.

Thanks for that crisis line. I was actually looking for something like that previously when I felt this way and had no one to talk to.

I think working out at the gym is probably a good idea, but I am also probably too self conscious. Also it’s not even the biggest stressor right now. I still have to figure out how I’m going to get home and get my finances and academic life back on track.

I feel a little better since talking to a member of this forum on aim. I didn’t actually get to sleep until 8 am this morning though. I hope this doesn’t happen every night.

Thanks for reading and the helpful words everyone.
It doesn’t seem like it will work, and it will probably take every bit of drive to get going, but start exercising. Go for a run, it will honestly invigorate you and help to release the chemicals and endorphins that your body and mind need. I know it seems pointless and impossible, but you have nothing to lose. If you’re self-conscious, run at night (in a safe place). It actually feels wonderful once you are able to convince yourself to get outside. Humans are creatures of habit, so the habits you form (whether good or bad) are going to be hard to break. Work on trying to create a healthy habit.

Once you are able to invigorate yourself even just a little bit you will find that it is easier to believe in yourself and gain just a little bit more confidence. It can build from there.

Don’t do it for anyone else, do it for yourself. If it helps, a lot of us have hit rock-bottom too, and most of us aren’t really that far from rock-bottom most of the time anyway. It is also not a bad idea to talk to a doctor. Sometimes people need a little help to get back up and ready to face the world, and doctors can give you that help.

I’m sorry if this sounds like a self-help manual, but I’m only trying to give you advice that seems to be working for me.
I would seek therapy, but I have no health insurance and no money :

Look for a community health center….since you’re in school, check to see if your school has any counseling/mental health services. Schools usually offer them for free.

It’s trite, but I’ve been where you are….still dealing with it now. It gets better eventually.
most of us have been on rock bottom, and all i can say is most of the advice/support in here is motivating.

please dont hurt yourself or do anything rash, and remember, if you feel your on rock bottom, there is nowhere to go but up with new friends and getting over your cheating SO.

we’re all here for you!
I canceled WoW. I got my car back and my apartment is clean and ready for me to move out.

I’ve got some friends back home that will hopefully hang out with me and make me feel better socially. Now I have to figure out how to get home. I am completely broke and I’ll have to find a job immediately when I get home. Preferably not retail and min wage. I came out of the IT industry before going back to school, so going back to a high school type job would suck.

Also, ex is still on my mind. Doing whatever she wants to fulfill her selfish need for attention and nothing else. Ugh.

I’M NOT A FUCKING 4th GRADER!!!!!!

I really have a disdain for people who feel the need to control what you do, how you keep your surroundings, and watch your every move, question you, and doubt you like you’re inept. Christ, I’m going to be 34 this summer and some folks I deal with daily still don’t seem to realize I am an adult, I do have real world responsibilities and worries. Hell, I pay a mortgage, 2 car payments, and the other usual monthly bills. I also run a business with my husband in addition to our day jobs. I manage the business and the household since he’s in school on top of his full time work. Not many 4th graders I know can do that. UGH

I know deep down it’s because the perpetrators are unhappy and feel like they’ve lost control in their own arena, but it still annoys the shit out of me nonetheless.

Ok back to our regularly scheduled programming.
Don’t be bothered by them, as long as you know you are a responsible adult that should be enough for you,don’t be worried about the rest, let go of the things that you can’t control in life.

Get back and at about 10am I sk the guys goibng to the shop to get some beers, flash the wallet with a million Ruppees notes (back from iNDIA), dude gets about 18.

I crash oiut Ii’m 5 foot ten other dudes 6 foot 4, hge’s smaking mr with a full biottle of beer. The other guy 44 who we can call Simon is punching me.

Had to make my excuses to go to the toilet, locked the door to try to get out of the window. Simon breaks down the door and I had no choice but to go for him qwith a bit of broken mirror…..bounced after that.

Sorry, noi aspell checker here, no lightts and it’s about 35C AND 95 hUMIDITY,

I was also thinking something along those lines
uh.. wow, wtf?

you killed someone with a mirror in russia on new year’s day?
I hope this is trolling, regardless should probably be deleted.

so if someone is truly and genuinely disturbed. not just that "i have ennuis" bullshit we all suffer from once in a blue week. we prolly don’t close their thread

What he typed is completely non sensical, and if he’s serious, he just admitted to stabbing a guy in the face with a piece of a broken mirror.

I’m just thinking it’s trolling, personally, hell idk.
This is the guy who says he has schizophrenia, just so you all know.
maybe this thread was describing a flashback of his then, I don’t know (just saw the disorders he listed in the father thread). Either way, hopefully all is well and he can either explain, or this thread’ll just go to the bottom.

And he was last trapped in India, trying to get new meds from the docs in the UK.

Ohhh.. Makes sense now.

Poor guy.

No, I went back to a party, woke up on a chair with one guy bouncing a bottle of bud off my head and another smacking me off the face.

I had just traveled for 40 odd hours and had been drunk at new years.

I I was told to give them my money, I say ok, just let me use the toilet. I get in, lock the shitty little snib and look to escape from the window.

No chance, two stories up, no foot holds, I jump I get screwed.

Now this fuck wkwhit, lets call him Simon had a gf who broke a mirror in the bathroom. He must have tossed everything into the bath. I pick two pieces up.

He breaks down the door, I show him what I have, He goes for me. I take a swipe and cut his neck.

Fuck him.

After that one piece had flown and I ran after the guy to get a good quick way out.

It was a council Estate so, all looks the same. I had to stay at the same door for a few minutes for emergency services…….cool but Forensics went in.

Other way around I thought?

Last I thought it was meant to be a forum for people to have their personal problems taken seriously.

Well done in turning things upside down to suit your own silly comments.

This is not a flashback. I worry when it will it will play in my head 5-6 times or whatever an hour.
is this a joke mod edit; nope it isn’t , it just needs a more clear explanation from the op
Work hard to get your life back on track. Don’t use any alcohol anymore, and try to rebuild your life. From what i last remember you went with your dad to the psychiater in order to talk about your mental problems.

What you clearly need to distinct is those things which are benefitial for you, and those things that only bring you down the drain, and steer away from those.

Killing is an absolute no,same counts for torture because if you look at the overal picture it only makes things worse. You, especially you should not make your life worse now then it already is. You’ve got enough problems you need to tackle together with a therapist one by one, and change your life dramatically into a positive constructive world.

At this point you basically have 2 options. Either escalate the situation to a fight because he just physically made an aggressive move on you and you have to stand up for yourself, or you can just back down to avoid the confrontation. I read all these "guides" on OT that the nice guy always avoids the confrontation and I don’t want to come off as some spineless wimp. At the same time, I don’t want to fight someone over something as stupid as this. I’ve been in these situations before and when you get 2 aggressive people like that and one of them escalates the situation then the other will follow suite and there WILL be a fight.

So my questions are: where do you draw the line? When do you walk away? How do you send a message that you won’t tolerate being pushed around without actually fighting someone?

THIS IS A GUY ONLY QUESTION!

Because women don’t understand the machismo mind OR play basketball with overly aggressive people.
Being the better man might make you look like a ‘pussy’ to the tough guys, but they have the anger problem that probably affects many of their personal relationships, not you.

Just be the better guy and back off.
Ugh I hate players like that…

Personally I just keep going by doing little annoying things or make them feel uncomfortable. I don’t know I do it for my own self enjoyment but when I drive people over the edge they get fed up and just walk away. I’m a pretty big guy so I think I can get away with this type of abuse…

If I was in your situation I would have just kept the ball from their team for as long as I can and when they start saying something, do a halfcourt shot (it fucking ANNOYS them when you make it). Make gay innuendos. Seriously, don’t let shit talkers and players like that ruin the game for you. You ruin it for them. Most of the time when I’m in pickups with friends and we come across a group like that, we flip the switch and start fucking around. Don’t give them the satisfaction like you’re trying, just clown. I’d like to learn to whistle the Harlem Globe Trotters theme but I can’t whistle.

If it starts to get real bad just get ahead by one point, declare yourselves the winner, and walk away.
you can’t allow your opponent to physically intimidate you in this manner

you should have continued to guard him the same way, and make him change his strategy if he wants to score

that’s basically the question. I backed off because the guy wasn’t very level headed. And I can’t decide if it’s worth getting into a fight over something dumb like this. You say it’s worth it?
Ugh that’s why I hate basketball. Such a bullshit sport. Someone always crying about something.

thanks for stating the obvious

if he wants to escalate it into a fight let him go to jail for it. Or you can kick his ass and then claim self defense

hmmm maybe not but I definitely wouldn’t be playing basketball with the guy again.
He got what he wanted….you backed off and then he was able to do what he wanted more. It’s a known tactic in sports.

This was likely a friendly type game as opposed to a paid job. If that’s correct then yeah, I think fighting over something like this is a joke and absolutely unacceptable. If you’re at a local gym and you fight, they might revoke you membership. If it’s a paid gig, you could use this against him…..and continue to piss him off and get him to throw a punch and get booted from the game….just be sure to duck.

There are thing in life that are totally worth fighting over. Basketball games? OMFG!! You can’t be serious here? uh the answer is NO…it’s not worth it.

You said, "… I don’t want to come off as some spineless wimp…." This is all about your ego. I’ve seen ego get more people in trouble than anything. Nothing about whether or not you fought this guy has any bearing on your life. It won’t help you get a better job (unless you want a tough guy job), it won’t help you make friends (unless you want to be accepted as a tough guy), and it certainly won’t help you get laid….oh wait….it may help with getting laid but that’s a different thread.

Exactly….this is the long term solution. Just find other people to play with, people that don’t keep it all in perspective.
Tell him if he’s fouling you then he needs to CALL IT. Let him look like a pussy in front of everyone for calling foul everytime he gets the ball.

if you think he’s crazy enough to do you harm, quit the game

i would quit the game before i would alter my style of defense
Considering it’s just a game, and not at any place you paid for the time/usage…I would not waste my time with someone who wanted to be like that.

If a guy wants to be an idiot, fine, he can do it by himself…I’ve got better things to do than enable idiots.
I would keep playing and not change up my defensive style. If he says its a foul, he has to call it so everyone can hear it, otherwise its legit.

Honestly if a person is a dick player like that, in my group of friends we just do not ask them back to play with us.

I recently had someone start something with me over a game, I kept my cool and he flipped out. In the end he just made himself look like a huge asshole to everyone and when he wanted to play again next week. The group just told him we had enough players.
I love when players assume you’re fouling them when they can’t play against good defense

No, because the way a woman deals with an aggressive man is totally inappropriate for another man to employ.

Cry about equality all you want, but men and women aren’t the same and they never will be.

easiest solution in that scenario. getting into a physical altercation over it is silly, but no need to back down either. play your game and if he thinks its a foul, let him call it and proceed from there. after he calls foul a couple of times, some of the other people playing will either tell you to back down or tell the other guy to stop being a pussy.

when to fight, walk away, diffuse the situation, etc. will depend greatly on the what scenario is playing out. this seems like a diffuse the situation type of scenario. use humor or peer pressure.

.
the other day i came out of my new apartment, asked a random guy a question about something.

he was about 4 inches taller than me and overweight but not fat. at least 285 pounds. i’m 5"9 at about 140, so he was twice my mass.

after i got his advice he then came back a second later. he put a massive paw on my shoulder and held it there while explaining that he had weed available.

i just acted like it was friendly. i acted like he was being affectionate in the way certain guys are physically affectionate towards each other despite being straight & American*.

* (physical affection being borderline weird for some straight males in our country)

he told me he also had a club down the street. so far, so friendly. then he asked me which bell I was. I thought that was creepy. I also didn’t really get what he was asking, or wasn’t sure. he repeated the question. given that he saw the door I had come out of, there was something non-factual about his question, like he was asking the question more to get an answer from me than to learn something. i told him which bell i was. his arm was on me the whole time.

he said he’d see me around… walked off, told me "it’s cool, i’ll be back. i’ll back," he said. "i’ll be back."

the whole thing had a vague hint of joking-menace.

the reason it’s completely different for girls is because their given PHYSICAL role is the Protected, and it is socially appropriate for girls to behave as if they are (PHYSICALLY speaking) the Protected, and to shame a man who treats them with physical threat, by acting huffy, fed up, miffed, and whatnot. sure, it’s not a physical win, but it’s GIVEN that no physical win is possible, and almost BECAUSE of that, it’s a win. "wtf are you doing? get your mitts off me, I can’t defend myself against you, so shame on you!" that’s the subtext.

it’s different for guys because that’s not the role we are given. in fact, playing that role would be really weird and bizarre for a straight, American male.

and yet, escalating to a fight - the opposite approach - makes you the loser in a million ways, too. for one thing, you might lose the fight. for another thing, the injuries are not payment for anything useful because you get nothing significantly positive out of it.

ultimately, i think the only thing i could have done was to shake it off…

yeah, the guy’s bigger than me, but we knew that already without him actually going ahead and proving it like he wanted to shove my shit in my face.

dorky, ego-feeding malevolence - there’s not much i can do about it.

the important thing is that it doesn’t translate into how hot the girls i fuck are vs. how hot the girls he fucks are. in this day and age, it’s the survival of the smoothest. and if it’s clear that there’s nothing i can do about it, and he’s just being malevolent… his social value plummets. this is where his gf, had he one, walks off in a huff because "he’s doing it again." so let him put on his ridiculous little show.

i guess i just recognize when someone can have their way with me physically. then, if they feel the need to shove that in my face, something which was obvious without them even doing so, i just recognize that that is retarded, and that that is just the way it is. so just being friendly and taking a "this too shall pass" approach seems like the right answer.

i think there’s a zen to it that i need to learn.

there are also martial arts, but i’m not sure it’s worth the time commitment to me.
i didnt read the entire thread but from what i’ve encountered its much better when they start getting physical to start getting logical. turn it into a debate instead of a fight, in general the dudes that look for fights like that arent the brightest.

that would work for me in any other context.

all my ability to verbalize logic vanishes as soon as there is a confrontation of this sort.

thats how i was growing up. i was an honor student but i had a crazy mean streak and turned into the hulk everytime someone picked on me. all logic went out the window and i’d just start swinging. then as I got older and went from being 5′1" in my freshman year to 6′2" my senior year, kids kinda stopped picking on me and i just didnt have to fight anymore. now when i ride my bike and get shit from drivers i tend to just throw a witty comment their way.. only time i actually turn into the hulk anymore is when a driver tries to purposely run me off the road or hurt me.

Funny thing is….watch UFC. Some of the most bad ass dudes on there are amazingly normal when they are out of the ring….not crazy nor do they often act aggressive.

If someone picks a fight with them…they’re in for a rude surprise.

I don’t know if I agree with this exactly, but my approach would’ve been "I’m fouling you because that’s the fucking point of the game. Stop acting like I’m doing it because I don’t like you; I’m just doing my job as a guard." I think it’s a similar approach to what you’re talking about.
Don’t let him scare you, he just wants to get in your head. I played against a guy who couldn’t post me up to save his life, he was pathetic. As he tried to come up to knock a post feed away from me, his face ran into my hand and he said I was garbage. He kept talking shit so I just laughed at him. Went down the court, hit a jump shot. Asked him who is garbage. He went down and tried to answer but I gave him no room to breath. Went down again and posted him up and hit a hook shot over him. Repeated this again. Then again. Then the next 2 times I did it over some possible future college basketball player, some 6′8" kid. I just looked at that guy after I hit my 6th straight shot and started running my mouth.

When people try to play aggressive with me because im 6′5" 190, I play back even more aggressive. I can’t be pushed around as easily as you think.

And the ironic part, is I don’t think you could find a rec ball player with a shorter temper than I have.

Like I said, don’t hit anyone over a game of basketball. Not even I would consider that route. But talk back, run your mouth, tell him he isn’t Lebron James and that he can’t get away with 5 step travels every time down the court and to work on his ability to create a shot without having to push off. The fact you did nothing made him the better player on the court that day in his own mind. You need to set his ass straight by running your mouth just as much and continuing to play aggressive.
some days i like to show up a little later than normal, scout the loudest talker from the team i am about to play, and i’ll pick him up on defense. i like to tell him before hand that he isn’t about to score anything. then he laughs. then he realizes that you probably need to have a scholly someone in order to actually get open on me.

One kid laughed at me. In the middle of the game told me he hopes I have good endurance. I told him I hope he has a scholly to Kentucky. At the end of the game, I had only 2…3 points, he had 0. Game before he had about 5….6. He came up to me later, patted me on the back and says "god damn white boy you were right. good defense."

.

A scholarship is an award of access to an institution, or a financial aid award for an individual student scholar, for the purpose of furthering their education. Scholarships are awarded based on a range of criteria which usually reflect the values and purposes of the donor or founder of the award.

AKA, this man never paid for a book or living expenses a day in his college life

aha. so is a scholarship related in any way to a scholly?

thats me being lazy and not wanting to type it out in full

• They WILL put this on your credit report.
• Future creditors WILL question you about it/not give you loans.
• It will stay on your report for 7 years.
• You don’t even have the protection from creditors like you do with bankruptcy.
• You cannot get this off your credit report even if you pay off all the debt.

And no….none of this was explained to me before I got on their debt management program. But at the time, I was desperate and about to have to file bankruptcy and this program kept me from having to do that.

I’ve since learned that I could have negotiated with my creditors directly and kept it off my credit report.

So CCCS is the company I used and I wouldn’t recommend anyone else. If the company refuses to pay and/or runs off with your money, you’ll still be responsible for the debt so check with your local better business bureau to help ensure they’re a good company. Do your research carefully.

Anyways, good luck.
If you don’t plan on buying a house within the next 7 years, you have the option to cease all payments while keeping the accounts alive. You can always negotiate to pay only the actual amount that you charged and none of the interest. I racked up a lot of debt in college. Stopped paying in 2000 and started to pay it off in big chunks in 2006. My debt with interest was up to $45k, but I only had to pay about $22k of that. Once paid off, you can get the records removed from your credit report.
Thanks guys I appreciate the input. Im going to try the 2nd option of ceasing all payments and pay the amt charged.

Be careful, you might not like this option. You should fully explore/investigate all implications of your choices.
i’m using Consumer Education Services right now (). They consoidated 4 past due credit cards for me and negotiated with the credit card companies for a lower set payment. They take $25 of my $250/mo payment but its well worth it to me to not have to deal with 4 separate companies. If i need to change the payment date or change how much i can pay for that certain month i just call or email CESI and they call the credit card companies to negotiate.

If you choose this route you’ll find it difficult to get a credit card. I kept one that I always paid off on time and that’s the only one I still have. You can’t finance a car either. And renting a house can be a big problem, but sometimes offering to put down 3x the deposit or paying the entire year in full helps. It’ll keep your credit crippled, but it’ll buy you time.
another option is to contact your credit card companies, inform them of your situation and ask that they lower/eliminate your interest rates and reduce minimum due amounts. choose one card to pay off first (usually the one witht the highest balance) and pay as much as you can monthly on that card while paying the minimum on the others. once that card is paid off, do the same with the next, then the next until you’re all paid up.
I work in collections for a department store credit division. Call the companies individually and work with them; you will get better results and save money.

Call whatever number you have for the collections division at each card, and call and ask for a settlement amount or hardship program. Not all companies offer these things, but it doesn’t hurt to ask. For instance, the company I work for offers a short term hardship program that the cardholder gets on for 6 months paying less than the normal minimum pmt. At the end of the 6 months, you pay whatever the difference is (if any) between what you have paid for the 6 months and what the total payment due was when you went on the program. All late fees are waived during this time, and although the cardholder will be reported as delinquent, it will save you money.

Other programs we have involve matching payments up to a certain point, temporarily reducing interest rates, and settling on accounts which can sometimes be only 30% of the original balance.

In a nutshell, call the companies first and see what you can work out.

Actually you can get it off your report, once your bills are paid off and/or you cease using a debt management company/plan. I have 2 friends who used CCCS and once bills were paid off and they withdrew from the program, they both asked CCCS to get the debt management plan deal off their credit reports and it was done.

Yes it will mark your credit report that you are under a debt management plan. Yes, some lenders will look at it almost like a bankruptcy. But it doens’t blacken your record the way a bankruptcy does. I dunno about other companies but this is what I gathered from from the friends who used CCCS.

To the OP, I would call your creditors first to see if they will work with you. If you’ve been good about paying on time and are in good standing, they should be willing to help. I got in over my head about 10 years ago, same thing, impulse buying. I had 5 cards I called them and all but one agreed to lower my APR to 7% (the other one 12%) and I promised each one I would pay a certain minimum or more per month and not use the cards again until paid off. Then when I did pay them off I closed off 3 of the 5 acccounts and left 2 open.

Interesting. I’ve been off it for about 10 years now and back when I finished up the program, I asked them to take it off and they wouldn’t do it. Perhaps they changed their policy. It seriously screwed with my credit for a long time.

Actually the truth is, bankruptcy is not nearly as blackening as it used to be. In fact, there are an awful lot of lenders that look for people that have recently filed. Why? Because they very often are working people and now, they have a clean slate of debt…..time to send them a new credit card app.

Here’s what was really shocking to me….there are people that are habitual filers. I mean they actually don’t wait the 7 years to file again….they file after a year or two. Now the judge should throw out their bankruptcy but that doesn’t happen very often. Many times and judge will just not ask about prior filings. It boggles my mind.
if you default on your debt it puts a collection mark on your record… common stuff.

What you’d be surprised with is that if you pay it off, your credit score increase is typically in the single digits.

So, if you do default, begin to negotiate with the credit card companies or collection agents. They’ll take 25% of the balance (sometimes a lot less), minus all their bullshit fees (virtually all of which will be illegal, check your state’s laws for the local statues).

Do it all in writing. It takes work but it’s very doable.

Of course, you can sue a collection agent when they don’t follow the rules like I’m planning on doing.. calling after receiving and acknowledging a phone C&D order… good luck with that one, cocksuckers… $1000 pop x 13 for the document violations that I have bills showing have been made = a lot more than the debt I owe. Plus tacking on another violation for overcharging interest based on PA’s state statues is another $1000. I’m waiting for my lawyer to get a reply to our offer though. We’ll see how long it takes.

That’s a different mark than the one to which I’m referring. When you get on a debt management program, they will put on your credit report, DEBT MANAGEMENT PROGRAM for everyone to see.

Debt consolidation may or may not be different…..I dunno.

Sorry, wasn’t commenting on your comments but the OP’s idea of just stopping payment entirely.

No worries mate.

check those out

Good luck with the lawyer. C&D orders have to be in writing.