In love with a married woman… =/ v. long read

29 June, 2009

First off, I am 18, said woman is 27, and married. We met through a retail job, and hit it off, started talking all the time, and texting each other a lot. Everytime we see each other, I can’t help but put on a huge smile, she always does the same as well.

She talks about how her husband isn’t really there for her, they don’t see each other much, and rather than stay home with her when they are both off, would want to go party with people he doesn’t like. She says she wished he thought like I did. She has this second job as well, and has been wanting me to go work with her there, which I ended up doing. Now I see her everyday, and it hurts like fuck dealing with this and knowing she is married. She invites me to do things with her and her friends, and soon me and her are doing something together, a memorial for her religion or something, which her husband would never do because he is a different religion than her and doesn’t really support her in that way. I’ve never met her husband, and other than talking about his problems, and other things he has in common with me, she doesn’t really mention him much. She trys to get us alone to talk to each other quite often.
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Feeling Underappreciated

29 June, 2009

So my fiance and I have been together for a little over 3 years. I love him to death. I would do anything for him but I don’t think he would do anything for me. Affection is really important to me when it comes to relationships. I need someone to SHOW me they love me instead of just telling me. He is terrible at this. He never holds my hand, puts his arm around me, kisses me, or anything. I’m not asking him to be all over me all the time because obviously that would get annoying. I’ve told him a few times that I wish he would be more affectionate but he just says ok and never really changes anything. Also, he is always telling me things I don’t do or things I do wrong ("you never do the dishes, clean the house, walk the dog, etc) but he NEVER tells me anything good about myself. I’m lucky if he even tells me he loves me most of the time. I KNOW he loves me but I wish he would act like it a little more. Sometimes I worry that he could be thinking "how did I end up with her". I guess more than anything I just wanted to vent a little, but does anyone have any advice on how to get him to show me he loves me more and stop pointing out the bad things all the time?
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Just Lost a Friend this Morning…

29 June, 2009

I got a phone call a couple of hours ago from my mom telling me my friend passed away this morning.
I’m sort of in shock more than anything, and I feel bad for not being closer to him while he was so sick.
He was such a great person, and I missed out on that.

Going to his funeral later today… it feels so weird

I still didn’t expect it… he was just too young. I really thought he was okay
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i wish it weren’t so hard to swear off people i’ve known for a long time

29 June, 2009

known this girl for 6 years now and she’s done nothing but play with my emotions the whole time. i’ve written her off in the past but she always shoehorns herself back into my life.

she’s trying to get back in it right now but i’m having mixed feelings for her because i can’t trust her worth a shit. recently she sent a huge message via facebook when i didn’t answer her calls/texts after getting off with her and telling her that i didn’t love her and the reasons why i didn’t.
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Long Story… I need help

22 May, 2009

i really don’t know where to start this but if i make any grammer mistakes pls don’t mind is since english is not my first language.

this is going to be confusing as hell since i don’t remember half of the things she has done.

i have been a member to this trance website for about a year and a half and there was a female member who was also around where i live. (well, i live in nj and she lives in ny) anyhow, we started talking this june and i was talking to her everyday for about 2-3 years and we got so close that we used to tell each other all the shit that was happening in our life. i got to see her more than like 4-5 times in trance events that were happening around the city so i eventually met her.
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Im in a bind OT.. what do i do?? v.gf,wrecks,cats etc.

22 May, 2009

my gf totalled her car on wed night, so we spent our entire valentines day/anniversary pretty weird.. she has been saying she wanted a pet, and she really liked her cats at her parents, so on monday i told her i wanted to get her a kitten for vday/anniversary, she SEEMED to love the idea, went out to petsmart and walmart and bought all the necessary supplies, surfed the net to find the perfect kitten etc. wed. night she gets hit and her car is totalled (not her fault) the next morning my radio is stolen, and i spend most of vday talking to police and the likes.
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male birth control pill

22 May, 2009

Are you stupid?
Skin on skin is where its at.

Are you stupid?

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I am good at shutting people out of life without feeling any regrets

15 May, 2009

Now i don’t know if this is a good thing or not, for some reason i decided to dump my cellphone with all my contacts in it just because i think people around my circle just isn’t the type i need to get to where i want to go. This just got me thinking, i don’t feel any regrets in doing this whatsoever. I just also realized my re-curring tendecy of detachment from others

I can easily make friends with people and completely shut them off as if they never existed the next day

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Not sure how to handle this situation. . . not a very long post

15 May, 2009

I’ve began hanging out and sleeping with my exgf whom I broke up with about 9 months ago. She needed some help with her laptop and dropped it off at my place so I could fix it up. I invaded her privacy and read some of her aim logs. I discovered a conversation that she had with the guy that she dated after me. She told him that I hit her and was abusive. I never hit her. Should I confront her about this? Should I just break contact with her and never bring it up?
She’s told me that her boyfriend from high school hit her while they were dating. (we met when she was in her 2nd year of college) do you think she was lying about that too?
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Is cheating different with women than men?

15 May, 2009

like, with me.. the thought of another dude penetrating or being on top of my woman..

cant think about it

is it different with women? what do they think? does it freak them out?

Maybe that’s a dumb question but i’ve been curious on if they get the same type of feeling
its just a matter of loyalty to both genders. .. but obviously the act is different.

i just feel like a fool if im cheated on. . . i just quietly dump her and tell no one
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